He held it up between his thumb and forefinger. “Would you care to explain where you found this?”
Suddenly sick to her stomach, she made to swallow, but her throat was too dry. “I pulled it out of the neck of a dead stag I tripped on near the clearing.”
He frowned. “Did you happen to see what manner of creature this belongs to?”
Nocturne shook her head. It felt like her chest had shrunk several sizes too small for her lungs as she whispered, “I’m lucky that whatever killed it was already gone by the time I got there.” The general waited to hear more, and although she didn’t think he and the king’s men deserved to know, she told him, “Not a single part of the stag appeared to have been eaten. It was ripped apart, as if whatever killed it had simply enjoyed the challenge.”
The general closed his fist around the fang. “I would suggest it was a dragon, but not one has been seen in these parts since—” He stopped, but he didn’t need to finish his sentence.
Since Killian had bonded to one.
He tucked the fang back into his pocket. “The king shall hear of this, but in the meantime keep as well away from the woods as you can, unless you’re with the others.”The king.His word choice reminded her whose side he was on.
“Tell me, General,” she began. “When your men approached my home, did you have any idea what kind of atrocious things they would do to the people who lived there?”
He sat back in his chair; the legs creaked again as he adjusted, and he let his hands droop between his thighs, his knuckles tapping once against the wood. At some point, while Nocturne slept, he’d changed into dark pants and a beige long-sleeved shirt that showed the lines of his lean muscles. “If you’re asking if I expected them to kill your family—”
“That isexactlywhat I’m asking—”
“Then no,” he continued. “I did not expect them to kill your family. Though I’m not convinced slavery was the better option.”
“My parents had been happily married for over fifty years. And my sister—she was younger than me. Your men strung her up on a flagpole by her neck, like a banner.”
Kit’s throat visibly bobbed. “If I’d had any idea—”
“You might not have had any idea that they would kill my family, but you knew what they were doing—that it would end in either slavery or death. You knew there were families in that village. Women andchildren.”The intensity in her voice grew. “You knew there were innocent people making an innocent living, yet you allowed them to destroy everything.Yougave the order, General. You might as well have killed them yourself.”
Silence.
“I didn’t give the order.” Kit’s voice was gruff.
Nocturne swore her heart stopped. “What do you mean you didn’t give the order?”
“I refused,” he said. “I’d had enough of the king and his men marching into the frees cities and villages to claim more soldiers. I told him we had enough already. He said if I didn’t lead the packs into the Realm of Wind to find more recruits, he would get someone else to do it.” The Realm of Wind—her home. He didn’t meet her gaze as he concluded, “Still, I refused.”
Nocturne felt like she was choking. “If you didn’t give the order, who did?”
“Killian,” he admitted. The man whose morals had vanished along with his memory.
Nocturne had to look away as she struggled to compose herself, glaring instead at the plush armchair by the fireplace. She was so certain the Wolf had given the order, and now that he supposedly hadn’t, she felt her fiery hatred for him nearly gutter out.
When she dared to speak, her voice wobbled. “I don’t know if you were hoping to gain my forgiveness by saving me tonight…but you haven’t. You’ve got a long way to go before I’d say I forgive you, General. Regardless of whether you gave the order. You might not agree, but I believe standing by as innocents suffer is nearly as bad as committing the crime.”
He had nothing to say to that, and for a long time the room was heavy with silence.
“Would you rather I had let you die tonight?”
Slowly, she turned to look at him, and then shook her head. “No,” she mouthed. “I deserve to suffer. I failed to save them.”
“There were over sixty men and only one of you. You never stood a chance.” Though the words were harsh, his tone was soft. Apologetic—or so he wanted her to believe.
“I’ll see them again,” she whispered. “One day.” The breath she dragged in trembled as much as her hands as she went on to admit the things that had haunted her for weeks. The very things that had eaten away at the remaining pieces of her until there was hardly a fleck left. “I hear their voices in my dreams—they’re nightmares, most of them. I can see their faces—bloodied or burned. I see them even when I’m awake, in the forests and in this House.”
Several moments of silence passed, and then the general whispered, “I’m sorry.” And he sounded so heartbroken, so weary, that Nocturne felt something inside her snap. Tears sprang to her eyes, but she managed to keep them at bay as she stared at the firelight dancing on the wall.
“So am I,” she breathed, squeezing her eyes shut tight. There was so much more to say, but she did not say it.Don’t cry,she told herself. She would hold in her tears until he left the room, for weakness at any level was intolerable at the House of Ice.
Once she was certain her voice would no longer betray her feelings, she said, “Thank you for saving me. And for listening.” Nestling into the blankets, she turned to face him, shoving aside the revulsion, heartache, and confusion twisting deep in her veins. “Thank you,” she repeated, her voice softer than before, “Kit.”
