Her hand slipped under the hem of his shirt, and she felt the hard muscles of his abdomen, tracing the grooves with trembling fingers.
At her touch, the hand that was fisted in her hair tightened, and he mumbled a vulgar word against her mouth before kissing her deeper. With her chest pressed against his, she felt his thunderous heartbeat on her breast. That delicious ache inside her built and built, and she swore she would combust if the hand that was knotted in her skirt slipped any lower—
But Darien broke the kiss. “Wait,” he bit out. He was as breathless as she was.
Loren pulled back, but before she could voice her confusion, he spoke again.
“This is wrong.” Those three words cut like a knife.
And suddenly, the world around her turned quiet and cold.
“What’s the matter?” Her words were nearly inaudible, but the worst part was how wounded she sounded. She hadn’t kissed many boys, so it was because of this that for one awful moment she thought he hadn’t been enjoying himself. “Did I do something wrong?”
Darien gave a hard laugh. “No.” He ran a hand through his hair, frustration lining his face. “Hell no.”
“Then what is it?”
He waved the hand he’d just had in his hair between them, as if this simple gesture would explain everything. “All of this. Me and you—us.”His tone softened to a whisper as he said, “We shouldn’t be doing this.”
Loren reared back like he’d slapped her. Still straddling him, her skirt hiked up her thighs, she felt exposed and vulnerable and stupid. Her cheeks burned, and her eyes turned hot with tears that stung as badly as his words.
“I suppose this makes me the next Christa, doesn’t it?” Seeing the incredulity on his face, she said, “What, you didn’t think I’d notice how you looked at her? You didn’t think I’d ask around and figure out what your deal is with her?” She swung her leg over him to stand.
“Loren—”
“Is this because of Valary?” she fumed, squeezing her hands into fists. “Is it because that stupid Warg almost caused me to be taken at the Advocate?”
“Loren—” he tried again.
She held up a hand. “You know what, never mind. I don’t want to know how your mind works or I’m going to get whiplash. Just take me home, Darien.” She fixed her rumpled skirt and backed away from him.
“Would you just hear me out?” He got to his feet and shoved the blanket aside with his boot. “You’re not being fair—”
“Fair?”Her voice cracked. “Don’t even get me started on what’s fair, Darien—”
“What I feel for you is not the same as Christa—”
She held up a hand. “I’ve heard enough.” He opened his mouth, but she bit out in a wavering voice, “I don’t want to be around you anymore.”
He had the audacity to look wounded, as thoughshewas the one who’d givenhimmixed signals for weeks. For a moment, she wondered if she was being too harsh.
But then she remembered what he’d just done to her, and she didn’t feel sorry at all.
It took everything she had not to burst into tears as she leapt off the tailgate and hurried to the passenger door. She hated herself for crying. Forthis.
She hated herself for falling for him. She’d lost that part of herself she was so afraid to lose, and now she was left with nothing but a new weakness that had a name, and a heart that was so close to fracturing into pieces.
Darien got into the truck and started it. He didn’t say anything as he peeled down the rocky terrain, toward the highway.
The tears burning her eyes threatened to spill over as she stared out her window.
As she glared at all those stars and failed to stop it as her heart cracked and shattered.
—
Darien couldn’t find words as he sped Loren back to the city, the dark expanse of the highway eaten up by the tires at a hundred miles an hour.
She didn’t say anything either. In fact, she hardly moved the entire time, except for when they passed through the city’s invisible forcefield, the dome of magic that rippled over the vehicle causing her to shiver in her seat. She didn’t need to tell him to take her to Angelthene Academy; he knew she wouldn’t settle for being brought to Hell’s Gate. Not after this.
