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“I guess I never felt like I made things right between us. And then she was gone.”
“I understand how hard that must have been. But I’m sure she knew you loved her. Couples fight. They make up. People mess up. I know she forgave you. You forgave her, right?”
He nodded. “I did a lot of thinking these past few days since you found those photos. I realized I could keep living with this guilt, keep punishing myself, or I could let it all go. I knew Rebecca would want me to let it go. Of course, it’s not quite that easy.”
“No, it’s not.”
“But I figured I could start by telling you about her and by asking you to consider having me as your Dom for real. Not just for training.”
Her heart broke for both of them. Why hadn’t she met him at a different time?
“But you just walked away. So I can only conclude you don’t feel as much for me as I feel for you.” He withdrew his hand, and her body felt instantly cold. She pulled her legs up to her chest, trying to comfort herself.
“That’s not true.”
“No? Then why did you sneak off like you did? Without even a goodbye? Without the courtesy of telling your Dom you were breaking things off?”
“Because I wanted to protect you.” And herself.
He snorted. “Baby, have you met me? What the hell makes you think I need your protection?”
His words hurt a little, but she figured she deserved them. “Sometimes we all need protection. And not just from physical pain.”
“Has this got something to do with what you’ve been lying to me about?”
How did he know about that? Had she said something last night? Damn those tequila shots anyway. Molly sighed.
“What did you think you were protecting me from?”
“Me.” She gave him a tired smile. “After Saxon told me about Rebecca, and I realized her death had affected you so greatly, I couldn’t do the same to you as well.”
He narrowed his gaze. “What the hell does that mean?”
She reached over and opened the bedside drawer, pulling out a piece of paper. “This might make things clearer.”
Jake stared down at the piece of paper, not understanding for a moment. There was a heading at the top: Molly’s bucket list. Ten things were listed beneath it. Some of them were crossed off. Others were still there, like getting a tattoo and jumping from a plane.
“A bucket list? Why would you need this?”
Tears dripped down
her face. She looked like shit. There were dark smudges under her eyes that spoke of sleepless nights. Her face was drawn and pale, and he thought she’d lost weight. Too much weight in such a small space of time.
“Because I’m dying, Jake.”
He refused to hear the words. To take them in. Because they couldn’t be true. This wasn’t happening. His breath caught in his lungs, his mind whirling.
Dying? No.
“I have breast cancer. I found a lump a couple of months ago. Soon after, I handed in my resignation, sold most of my stuff and headed to Haven. I wanted to tick off some things on my bucket list and I wanted to see the place Savannah spoke so fondly of. I intended to do everything on that list then move to some tropical island to live out the rest of my life.”
To die. She’d come here to die. He was going to lose her.
“No one knew?”
“I didn’t want to be the woman with the death sentence hanging over her. I didn’t want to think about it. Didn’t want everyone looking at me in sympathy. I’ve lived with this for most of my life. It’s why Richard left me. Well, that was his excuse. He said he couldn’t live with a ticking time bomb any longer.
“But you broke up with Richard over two years ago. You said you found the lump a few months ago.”
