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Julian stared down at her. “But the other night, after Cole returned, we played a little and we both found . . .” he trailed off. It was hard to talk about this with other people. He wasn’t used to showing his emotions or needs to anyone but Keira.
“It made us feel better. More in control,” Keira told them. “I had some rules and boundaries because Julian was in charge. I’m having trouble trusting my judgment.”
“And me because I could control something. I’ve been desperately trying, but failing, to keep control of everything, because I’m scared of Keira getting hurt again.” Fuck. Okay, that wasn’t so hard to admit, and he guessed they already knew that since all of Haven had seen how close he stuck by her.
“Saxon is worried about the two of you and I am too.”
“You don’t know us that well,” Julian couldn’t stop himself from pointing out. He felt Keira stiffen next to him. She slipped her hand into his. He knew she was trying to calm him down.
“I know I don’t. But that doesn’t mean I can’t care.”
“Th
e whole town is worried about you,” Joel told them.
Julian frowned. He’d lived in a small town where no one had given a shit about anyone else. Keira had too. This wasn’t something they were used to. People looking out for their neighbors. Sometimes he still wondered when the other shoe was going to drop with Joel. He didn’t understand how all the help he’d given them didn’t come with strings.
But maybe it did, they were just different strings. Those strings meant people gave a crap. That he and Keira had to do what they could to put people’s minds at ease.
“Joel suggested I collar you both,” Jardin told them. “I want to know how you feel about that.”
Keira looked to him, biting at her lip.
“I can’t do that,” Julian said bluntly.
Fuck this was so hard. He hated needing anyone else. Asking them for help. Keira leaned into him, giving him more of her strength. He kissed the top of her head, breathing in her scent. He would do anything for her. To help her. Protect her. But he couldn’t see himself doing that.
He waited for Joel and Jardin’s disappointment, braced himself for angry words. He could handle them. It was the way he’d grown up, after all.
Jardin simply nodded.
Saxon, surprisingly, stayed silent. Usually he was all for interfering in other people’s business, but he seemed willing to let Jardin take the lead.
“I know I haven’t been dealing with things very well,” Julian admitted. “Maybe you could work with me. Help us figure out our roles.”
“Like a mentor,” Saxon said thoughtfully. He looked pensive. “Not quite what I had in mind.”
“It could work.” Jardin and Saxon shared a look.
Saxon still didn’t look happy but he gave a short nod.
“I can certainly give some advice.” Jardin smiled at them both. “Why don’t we get to know each other and work out from there what you need from me? We can start off with me being a mentor and if you need more, we can negotiate that. How does that sound?”
Julian looked down at Keira. She gave him a trusting look. His gut churned. He loved that she trusted him. He just worried he’d make the wrong choice and damn them both.
Be what she needs. You can do this.
“All right, let’s do it.”
Saxon leaned forward. “I just don’t want anything happening to either of you.”
“We appreciate all the help you’ve given us, Joel,” Julian told him. “Without you . . .” he shuddered to even think about it, and Keira squeezed his hand. “We’ll try this for now and hopefully it will work.”
13
Jardin looked over at Joel Saxon. He was an interesting man. When he’d first met him, he’d had him pegged as an arrogant asshole. But there were layers to the man. And he didn’t do anything without thinking it through first. He was calculating and smart. He was also extremely loyal and, from what Jardin had seen, first with Aspen and her boys now with Julian and Keira, he had a huge protective streak.
“Julian seemed more focused and with it than I’ve ever seen him,” Jardin pointed out as Saxon walked with him to his car. Usually, Julian spent his time silently watching over his wife. This was the most he’d heard the other man speak.
