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“All right. I can do that.” Even though he felt like he was walking in a minefield. “But I don’t know what’s going on. I’m not saying you have to tell me,” he said hastily as they stiffened. “You don’t. But I don’t want to do anything that might upset or harm you. So, I need to know what I can and can’t do. Is there something I would do that might remind you both of what happened to you?”
“You can’t take Keira away from me,” Julian said after a few seconds. “I can take anything else.”
“I’d never take Keira from you.”
“He means . . . right now, he can’t even let go of me,” Keira whispered. “Sometimes when he gets like this, when he’s stuck back in the darkness of those memories or when he just needs me more, he’ll carry me around like this. Everywhere.” She said the last part in a whisper, almost as though she was worried he’d be horrified.
“Okay.” It made sense with what he’d seen. The way Julian was always close to Keira. How he’d reacted tonight in the BDSM club when Keira had lost it.
“All right. What about you, baby? Anything I need to be careful of?”
“Oh, maybe everything.” She let out a small noise he guessed was meant t
o be a laugh but came out more like a sob. “We’re so messed up, Cole. And nothing we do seems to fix it. Therapy doesn’t help. Trying to be normal doesn’t help. Nothing helps. Julian . . . he spanked me the other night and it was the first time I really let myself just cry. I mean, I’ve cried but not like that. Not with all the barriers down and the emotion pouring out. I just want to go awhile without thinking or worrying or anything. And he gave me that. I want that for him too. I mean, I don’t want you to spank him. Well, not unless he wants that. That could be kind of hot.”
“Keira,” he said in a low voice. Not a chiding one, he wasn’t scolding her. Just trying to get her on track.
Heat filled her cheeks. “Right. Sorry. What I mean is, if he could stop worrying over me for a little while, then maybe he could concentrate on himself. I want him not to be so worried all the time. So stressed. He hardly ever sleeps. He does nothing for himself. I just want to see him smile.”
She asked nothing for herself and everything for the man she loved. Some things hadn’t changed, at least.
“And I’m sure he wants the same thing for you, little bit.” The name rolled off his tongue. God, how many times had he wanted to call her that these last few weeks? Yet he’d been terrified she’d reject him. Push him away.
“I . . . I guess he would.”
“I’m here for you both. I’m going to tread really carefully and I . . . I won’t let either of you down.”
“All right,” she whispered.
Julian raised his head, proving he’d been listening. He looked at Cole but didn’t say anything. Then he shook his head.
It was a stab to the gut. Something he knew he totally deserved.
“Julian?” Keira whispered.
“Can’t trust him. He left us. Promised one thing. Did another.”
Keira closed her eyes, looking pained.
“I know neither of you can trust me fully. I don’t deserve that. There are reasons for what I did, but I don’t think either of you are ready to hear them. And, besides, actions speak louder than words. Can you trust me at least enough to know I’ll back off if you need me to? That I’ll do my very best not to harm either of you?”
“You going to leave tomorrow?” Julian asked.
It was a question he deserved. Cole blew out a breath. “No. As long as you need me, I’m going to be here.”
Keira cleared her throat. “What about your work? You’ve been here two weeks now. Don’t you have to go back?”
“I sold my shares in the company,” he told her. “I no longer have a job.”
“W-what?” She gave him a shocked look. Even Julian looked surprised. “But that company meant everything to you.”
“No. It didn’t. It was sucking the soul out of me. I made it my life, and, in doing so, I lost everything that was important, that did mean everything to me.”
“Do you mean us?” she whispered.
“Yes, I do.”
“Seriously?” Keira asked.
