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“The company,” Julian told her. “He wouldn’t want us laying claim to it.”
“We wouldn’t have done that.” Keira’s shocked eyes met his, making him feel even more like an ass.
“I know,” he said quietly. “Now. But, back then, the company meant everything to me. It had meant everything to my father. More than his two sons ever did.”
“Oh, Cole, I’m so sorry.” Keira leaned forward and placed her hand on his knee.
He gave her a small smile. “My father used to pit me against Joel. He used to tell me all the ways I would never measure up to my younger brother. He made me see him as the competition in everything, but most of all in our legacy. The company. I was groomed to take over and then when Joel was given half of it and he didn’t even seem to want it—didn’t seem to care . . .” He took a deep breath then let it out slowly. “It got to me. I wish I could say I was a better person. That I just wanted my brother to be happy. The truth is very different. I was jealous of Joel. So fucking twisted up with it. I thought he had my father’s admiration and affection growing up. I was blind to the fact dear old dad was just as shitty a parent to him as he was to me.”
“But Joel didn’t live with you full-time,” Keira said quietly. “He had another family.”
“Right.” He stared down at his hands, which he’d curled into fists. He slowly relaxed them, setting them on his thighs. “Thing is, I never really cared about the BDSM club. My issue was the fact that Joel got to do what he wanted while I was stuck.”
“But I thought you liked running the company,” Keira said.
Cole let out a humorless laugh. “Convinced myself I did. Told myself I was making that old bastard proud. Truth is, I’d have given anything to be Joel. The board was constantly riding me. Wanting me to do things I wasn’t comfortable with, all in the name of making money. They’d gotten used to my father’s underhanded, ruthless ways. When Joel opened that BDSM club, all I heard was about how wrong it was. How I needed to do something about him. How he was bringing the Saxon name down. I’m ashamed to say I let it affect me, my behavior, my decisions.”
He stared at them both, sitting there watching him intently. One with sympathy shining from her pale blue eyes. The other with wariness.
“And it led me to making one of the biggest mistakes in my life. Pushing the two of you away.”
Keira frowned. “But I don’t understand.”
He let out a deep breath. “I had it all planned out in my head by the time I woke up after the night we spent together. I’d let you keep working at the company, if that’s what you wanted, but we would have to keep our relationship a secret. The whole ménage thing wouldn’t have gone down well with the board.” He smiled bitterly. “I was going to provide for you both, protect you, win you over with my wealth and how much better I could make your lives.”
“There was nothing wrong with our lives,” Keira whispered. Then she looked to Julian. “Was there?”
The bigger man shook his head.
“No, little bit. There was nothing wrong with your life. It was me. Everything was wrong with me.”
“I’m sure that’s not true,” she murmured.
“You’re a very sweet person, Keira, but I’m not sure I deserve it. I started making plans, without even talking to you both. I thought that was what you wanted, for me to take over. I thought you’d be grateful for me making your lives better. I couldn’t be open about the two of you. Not with the board breathing down my neck constantly. What I didn’t know was how much they were watching me. When I got home there was an envelope waiting for me at the security desk of my apartment building. It came by messenger service. Paid in cash. The name used was fake.”
“What was in it?” Julian asked.
“Photos of us. At the club. Outside your house. From in the bedroom.”
Keira blanched, growing even whiter. “What?”
Julian grunted. “Fuck. We must have forgotten to close the curtains.”
Cole ran his hand down his face. “We shouldn’t have had to. I had no idea anyone was following me. Would take photos of us like that.”
“They had photos of us having sex?” Keira whispered, horror filling her face.
“Yeah, baby,” he said gently.
“But why?”
“A threat,” Julian said.
Cole nodded. “The message said to get rid of you both. To do what the board wanted. Or all of our lives would be ruined.”
“That’s why you came back and told us you wanted nothing to do with us? That you were transferring us to the San Antonio branch? Because of a few naked photos?” Keira aske
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