1.SECRET FRIENDS
CASSIDY
“Will you give it a rest,already? He got a blowjob from Elliot’s sister during first period. That boy will only ever see you as a friend, if he chooses to acknowledge you in public at all.”
There was an ache in my belly when I thought about James with another girl. I didn’t doubt Simone, though. It wasn’t like the boy was living the life of a monk while I pined after him day and night. I was pathetic. James was easily the best looking boy in our school with his short blond hair that was a little too floppy near his face. Unlike some of the other boys, he had already started to grow facial hair that was a shade or two darker than what grew on the rest of his head. His piercing hazel eyes were predominantly green with grayish-blue and yellow mixed in here and there to give them an almost kaleidoscope feel when you got close enough to notice. All that perfection was from the shoulders up. The only imperfection was that his lower teeth were a touch crooked thanks to an overcrowding issue his father hadn’t seen fit to send him to an orthodontist for.
As if he knew proving her point would dig the knife into my fragile heart a little deeper, James walked by and slid a heated look toward my friend. “Looking sweet as sugar today, Simone.”He didn’t stop, and certainly didn’t bother to even say ‘Hello’ to me.
Simone threw me an “I told you so” look just as Jasper followed in his best friend’s footsteps.
“Hey, Cass. Congrats on the win. Your pecan pie is the best there is.”
“Thanks, Jasper.” While it made me feel good inside to have someone acknowledge me, let alone praise my work, it also left me feeling a bit humiliated. Luckily, Simone’s own crush distracted me from my sorrows.
“Hey, Jasper. What are you up to?” Simone asked as she cocked a hip out further and twirled her hair around her finger. She tried to look shy and sultry all at the same time, which was weird because she was neither of those things. She was more an outgoing, overdone sexpot than anything. I would never judge her but there was always an air of desperation around my best friend that made me wonder why she would behave that way. She lived with a single mom, never spoke of her dad, and didn’t seem to want for anything at all. Maybe it was the missing dad thing that made her behave the way she did. I didn’t know, and again, while I observed those things, I didn’t judge. If she ever wanted to talk about it, she knew I was there to listen.
“Not much, gotta run.” Jasper took off to catch up to James without even looking back.
Where you found one of those boys, you almost always saw the other. It was also obvious to everyone - or at least me - that both boys had a crush on Simone. I wasn’t sure why she always played into James’s attention when he gave it to her. I could see that it hurt Jasper, but she wouldn’t listen whenever I brought it up.
“You should ask him out,” I tried to encourage her for what had to be the fiftieth time.
“What? Who?” She played stupid, but we both knew exactly who she wished would do the asking and it wasn’t James. She had always had a thing for Jasper. He wasn’t as forward as James was with his appreciation of her and Simone felt like she deserved it.
“You know who. Jasper.”
“If I was interested in him, and I’m not saying I am, then he would need to be the one to do the asking.”
“What if he’s afraid you’ll say no, since you turn most everyone else down when they ask?”
“Then I guess he doesn’t have big enough balls to date me yet,” she huffed. The “yet” part was how I knew that Jasper was really the one she wanted. I could also see the worry in her eyes. We had known one another too long for me to mistake her true feelings even if she did try to pretend.
“I don’t see you asking James out,” Simone tossed back at me before she got up from our usual lunch table.
“It’s harder to do when you already know what the answer will be,” I lamented. “At least you can tell Jasper likes you, too.”
“He barely even speaks to me.”
“He gets nervous around you. That’s all. It’s not like how James looks right through me at school like I’m not even here.”
“If you know that, why are you crushing on him so hard?”
I shrugged in response. “Don’t you think I would turn it off if I could? It’s humiliating. Most of the school knows I like him and he mostly pretends that I don’t exist.”
That wasn’t totally true. I lived on the property adjacent to James’s grandparents. Whenever he saw me out there, we always talked. It was like he was a different person to the smirking asshole in school who ignored me. No one would believe me if I told them about all the times James and I hung out together. Simone knew, but it felt as though she only humored my stories of hanging out with the boy next door. Shedidn’t even try to hide the fact that she thought I was lying about the time I spent with him alone. I didn’t understand why. It wasn’t like I told her we were making out every time he was at his grandparents’ house. We talked, laughed, and sometimes just stared at the stars together as we decompressed from whatever our lives had thrown at us that day.
“How does Jasper know you bake the best pecan pie?” Simone interrupted my thoughts to ask as we headed to gym class. “I thought Travis Cardwell’s mom won the bid on your pie when the contest was over.”
“How am I supposed to know that?” We made our way down the hall and Simone kept staring over at me as if she was waiting for me to answer her question and mine. “Maybe Jasper hangs out with Travis and Patrick Mendoza. They could have shared with him.”
“That’s stupid. They’re at least five years older than Jasper. Why would they hang out with a guy in high school?”
“Your guess is as good as mine, Simone.” I huffed in annoyance. I wondered what she would have said if I told her that Jasper came by with James to his grandparents’ house and had a slice of the second pecan pie I’d made. Most likely, she’d never believe it and would continue to wonder if Jasper hung out with Travis and Patrick. It really sucked that my best friend thought I was nobody, too. It also made me wonder why she was my best friend if she felt that way. I had my own issues, though, and as I’d learned through a reality TV show I watched, I might have been projecting my own concerns about my father’s negligence onto my friend.
After school,I sat out by the fire pit, stared off into space, and enjoyed the quiet of the evening. I needed the alone time after my stepmom yelled at me for heating the house up again with my baking. She sure didn’t have a problem eating what I made, though.
I pulled out my notebook and added the notes I forgot to jot down earlier. My pecan pie may have been the best but my apple still needed that special something to make it stand out. The one I attempted last time had a touch too much cinnamon or something.
