“Yes. Sounded as though it came from within the house, not from the crowd, but I could be wrong. I had my back to the mob at the time.”
“Right,” she said. “And how do you feel?”
“I already said I am a little shaken, but no worse for wear.”
“I worry it dredges up bad memories every time you hear a gunshot.” Aunt Eugenia took his hand and squeezed it.
“I do think of it,” he admitted, though he could not admit to her that his thoughts drifted much further, much deeper.
“It wasn’t your fault, what happened to your brother. You know that. You did nothing wrong.”
He wanted to tell her that she was quite wrong. That it was his fault that Marcus was dead. How his father had told him time and again. Not that he needed to. James knew it on his own. He’d killed his brother, whether he meant it or not. But his aunt didn’t know that. Only his dearest friend did.
Nobody knew the whole truth, only the part they had been told. Everyone thought his brother had been killed in a duel with Oliver Hollingsworth. Even Hollingsworth believed it. And it was true, the duel had started it all.
If only James had stopped Marcus from going to it…
“I could’ve stopped him,” he said bitterly. “Why did he have that blasted duel? A duel over a woman who had already rejected him? It was ridiculous.”
“You were a boy.”
“I was nineteen. I was old enough to know better. I knew duels were illegal. Moreover, I knew that Marcus was a terrible shot. But no, he had to go through with it. He had to do it.”
He remembered the argument he and his brother had that day. And he remembered the argument he’d had with their father that very evening. And everything that had followed. In frustration, he kicked the table with his right foot.
“Forgive me,” he said. “I did not mean?—”
“Dash it all, I am not worried about the table,” Aunt Eugenia cut in. “I am worried about you. I think it’s time that you let go of all of this. It has been more than enough time.”
“It has,” James agreed. “But there is so much you do not know. I can never… I am over it, over what happened at the duel.” He waved his hand and drank down the whiskey.
Aunt Eugenia pursed her lips, and he could see the spots where powder had washed away. There were red stains left that made her lips look patchy. Charcoal from her eyelashes stained the skin underneath her eyes as well.
“I am not entirely convinced that you have. You are still not married.”
“And I will not be,” he declared. “I do not believe in love. It is a foolish venture, and I do not believe in marrying just for the sake of siring an heir.”
“Just because your brother was a fool in love does not mean that you would be. There are a great many lovely ladies in the world who I think would make you very happy if you only gave them a chance. The way you debate with Frances tells me that you can still connect with a lady.”
He sat up ramrod straight. “I will stop you right there, Aunt Eugenia. Your houseguest has a quick wit and a sharp tongue, and she is admittedly easy to look at and charming when she chooses to be, but no.”
“No, what?” she asked innocently.
“As I said, I am not interested in any woman. There are times, of course, where a gentleman must avail himself of the services of certain Cyprians, but?—”
Aunt Eugenia shook her head in alarm. “No, no, no! I need no such details, thank you. You can keep that to yourself. Now, I should thank you, however, for keeping her safe tonight. In fact, you have done such a wonderful job, I think I shall avail myself of your services again.”
He let out a sigh. The two glasses of whiskey were hitting him, and he longed for nothing but the soft pillow that awaited him in his bedchamber.
“What is it?”
“I need you to accompany her to a ball on Wednesday.”
“Wednesday? I do not think that she will wish to go anywhere after everything that has happened today.”
“Be that as it may, she is out now, and she must remain out if I am to find her a husband, since you refuse to consider it. She is going to Almack’s.”
James groaned and threw his head back. “Not that place. The driest cake and the weakest lemonade, and not an alcoholic beverage in sight. You cannot mean it. Every time I leave there, five new women set their caps at me.”
