DESI
“Scout!Scout, get out of the fucking car!” I screamed. “Wake up! Will you fucking wake up!” I screamed, over and over, as I fought my seatbelt and then hers. My hands were shaking so hard I was fumbling the buttons.
Blood blinded me as I tried to free her and pull her up and out of the car. Someone from outside the car was screaming something to someone else, but my ears were blasted, and I could only hear loud muffles. It was all a blur where time had slowed. Until I knew Scout’s heart was still beating, mine refused to.
Giving up on my seatbelt, I managed to get hers off, and I leaned my whole body forward, grasping her shoulders tightly. I shook her hard. Her head bobbed forward, but her eyes didn’t open.
No!
“Scout! Please!” Tears mixed with blood fell freely as I pleaded for her to wake up. Suddenly, my door was opened and I was being ripped away from her. Two firemen lifted me out of the car. One of them threw me over their shoulder and trudged to an ambulance.
I screamed as loud as I could.
“Let me fucking go! She’s still in there! I can’t go without her!” I kicked and screamed.
“Sir, we’re working on getting her out too. Just stay put.” The fireman released me to a pair of EMTs, who grasped my forearms and pulled me down. I fought, but between the two of them, I wasn’t getting out of their hold. The firemen dove in and pulled her out. They rushed her over and put her on a stretcher.
“We’ve got to get her to the hospital. You ready?” an EMT said to the ones holding me.
“Let’s go.” They turned to look at me.
“Can you walk? You should probably get checked over too.” They helped me into the ambulance and closed the door.
I sat off to the side as they began to resuscitate her. They pressed on her chest, over and over, giving her compressions, but she didn’t appear to be moving.
My whole life slowly flashed before my eyes; my future slipping away with each thrust of their hands against her chest. Everything I ever had planned for was disappearing. I thought I had more time, months, maybe years if I could figure it out, but now it was gone. Scout was dead. The love of my life was dead because of me. If she hadn’t met me, none of this would have happened.
I bent over, letting my sobs take hold. I did this to her. But then, I heard a beep and a large breath.
“We got a pulse,” the EMT said to his partner. “It’s strong.”
I stared at the pair in uniform. “She’s okay?”
“She’s alive. That’s the first big thing, okay? We got her breathing in time for no brain damage. She was only out for one minute.”
One minute?
It felt like an eternity.
I scooted closer to her, reaching for her hand. I squeezed it tightly, but she didn’t respond. Her eyes were still closed, but her chest rose and fell.
“We’ll be at the hospital soon,” they assured me.
Soon, we were being removed from the ambulance, and despite my best efforts to stay with her, they insisted on taking us separately.
I hadn’t noticed, but during the trip, someone had cleaned my cuts up. However, the gash on my head and my forearm needed stitches. I waited impatiently to get them taken care of, all the while asking about Scout’s condition.
“Are you her husband?” a nurse snapped at me after I asked her too many times.
“No, she’s my girlfriend. She has no one else.”
The nurse glared and pursed her lips. “They are working on her.”
I was admitted against my will for the night.
“You lost a bit of blood, and you’ve got a concussion,” the doctor told me after I argued with him about it.
“How do you know?” I demanded.
