DESI
I satin the chair next to her bed, tugging at my hair while Scout slept. Despite her smiles and sarcastic words, I knew she was in pain. The hospital was giving her a lot of meds to keep her comfortable. The moment she was off them, she was going to feel the true extent of her injuries.
I slumped in the chair and rethought every moment since I met her. For three days and nights, I replayed every single day I’d had the honor to spend with her. I didn’t realize how precious each minute was until I almost lost her. I couldn’t bear it.
What was I going to do come October?
On my twenty-seventh birthday, my human heart was going to stop beating, and the vampire blood in me would take over and transform me into a monster of the dark. I would no longer be able to see her.
She’d know something was up. My eyes would turn from the human blue into a red as bright as the blood I’d crave. I’d have fangs, and every time I saw her, I’d want to drink from her until she was limp and dead in my arms.
As I sat there, watching her chest struggling to rise and fall in the medically induced slumber they had put her under, I tried to figure out a plan.
My rational brain was screaming for me to leave while she was sleeping and never come back. I needed to write one of those ‘Dear John’ letters and say goodbye forever. She’d find someone else; I was sure. She was beautiful, funny, smart, and talented. God, could she draw. I’d never met someone with her level of natural skill with the pencil. Most people had to go to higher education and pay thousands and thousands to get as good as she was just by existing. She was born with a gift that I wasn’t deserving of.
But could I let her go? Would I be able to walk out of her hospital room and not look back?
No.
If I left before she woke, I’d never stop watching over her. I’d know when and if she found someone else. I’d torture myself by watching her fall in love with someone else. I’d follow her as she got married to some chump, grew swollen with his babies, and lived her happily ever after. All from my cold, dark, loveless mansion across town.
Like a bird trapped in a beautiful golden cage, I’d observe the world around me, knowing I’d never be free to experience it myself.
It was selfish to stay in that chair and continue to love her the way I did. But my feet were frozen to the floor. There had to be another way. I knew many a vampire who had familiars, humans they fed on regularly, but those only lasted so long. I’d never met a vampire with an aged human.
We had to live under the radar as best as we could. Having a young man with a ninety-year-old woman would draw suspicion, and even if it didn’t, at some point, Scout’s aged body would become too tired to move constantly, and the longer I remained young, people would notice.
It wasn’t until the nurses commented about me going home to change clothes that I moved from that room.
“She’ll still be here when you get back, sweetie. Go home, shower, get clean clothes, and come back. She’ll probably still be asleep.”
“My car is totaled. I don’t even know where it is,” I told her.
“Hm… is there someone you can call?”
Who could I trust to not ask too many questions?
“Yeah, I can figure it out.”
I stood by the phone, debating my options before finally dialing Randy’s number and explaining quickly that he needed to come get me. As soon as I got into his car, I was thrown question after question.
“This is the chick we did that thing on Valentine’s for?”
“Yes,” I answered through gritted teeth. “And I told you not to keep bringing it back up.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know. You handed over all your weed and clients and all that for my silence. Blah blah blah. This is just… not you. I didn’t peg you for—”
“For what?” I leaned over and pulled a cigarette out of his jean jacket. It wasn’t until I got into the car that I realized I hadn’t had a smoke since the accident. I pushed the car lighter in and once it was hot and popped back out, I brought it to my cigarette. “A cheater?”
Silence followed for a beat.
“Yeah. Why don’t you just end it with Aleida?”
“Have you met Aleida? She’d kill me.” I took a long drag and blew smoke toward the window. Literally.
“And you think she’ll be happy-go-lucky when she catches you?”
“She won’t catch me, because you’re going to keep your fucking mouth shut.”
