DESI
“Do you believe in soulmates?”Scout intertwined our fingers together and lifted them to the ceiling of her bedroom. I gazed at them. Her soft, tan one, and my pale, calloused one.
“I don’t know. Do you?”
She turned and propped up on her elbow, wincing instantly as the scar on her arm stretched tightly. “I’m not sure. I read this story once about red ribbons and people being linked to each other. They would die and continuously find each other in every life. Every time they met, their souls knew before their minds did, making them fall head over heels instantly.”
“Hm, maybe. I did feel something the moment I saw you.” I reached up and tapped her chin. “But I’m sure I’m not the only one to be hypnotized by your eyes.”
“Desi, be serious. This all feels so unreal. And fast.” She tossed a pillow at me.
“Is that an issue?” I said, my gut tightening.
“I don’t know. When you’re not around, I get grumpy and sad. I want more of you, but at the same time, I feel like I’m too clingy. We barely know each other, and yet, I’m…”
“Obsessed?” I chuckled and then shifted to push her back down onto the bed. “I am too. It’s fine. We can be crazy together.”
“I want to be here with you. Obsessed. Forever.” She sighed as I rolled on top of her and began planting gentle but intentional kisses on her jaw, neck, and top of her breasts.
The dark thoughts began to creep back in. Flashes of the life I’d been wishing swept through my brain.
“What?” Scout asked.
I looked down at her. She was so beautiful just the way she was. Could I dare voice my deepest, darkest thoughts with her?
“What if we could…?” I whispered. I wasn’t even sure I had said it aloud.
“Could what?”
“Be here, like this, forever?” My breathing suddenly took on a more ragged rhythm.
“What, like me not going back to work? I have car insurance now, remember?”
I relaxed and rolled off of her. While I didn’t feel anything but disappointment now, I knew once I got back to my place, the guilt would set in. I almost asked her to do the unthinkable.
“You’re right. Although, if you just let me, I’d make you a kept woman.” I decided to return to her, rolling back on top and kissing her body in all the places I knew she liked. “All you’d have to do is greet me at the door wearing only an apron and those cookies you made at Christmas every time I come over.”
“Ha! I’d go crazy. I’ll keep my job, thanks though. My art school fund is kind of low anyway. I need to refill it.”
I glanced at the jar sitting by the bed. “How many times have you refilled that jar and used it on stuff that’s not art related?”
She looked away guiltily. “A few times. There’s just never a good time.”
“They’ll never be a good time,” I reached for the jar. “Next time it’s full, you should apply.”
“I don’t even know where to start. All I can do is draw.” She motioned to the walls.
“Everyone starts somewhere, and I think you could make a great career out of your art. You’re really good, Scout.”
“Thanks, but can we get back to you kissing me and telling me how much you love me now?”
She always hated talking about her art. I set the jar down, and just as I was about to honor her request, I spotted something. A stack of books. I picked the top one up and read the title. My blood ran cold.
“What is this?” I turned to her with the book raised. “Is this a fucking joke?”
Scout’s eyes widened as she stared at the book. She shrunk into herself. I grabbed the rest of the books, tossing them on the bed. I stood and threw the first book I’d picked up onto the top of the pile.
Psychopaths and the people who love them.
