“It was something my mother used to call me. A French term of endearment. It literally means ‘My little cabbage.’”
“That’s very sweet,” she said with a smile that made his heart feel like it might burst in his chest.
“I was teased mercilessly for it for weeks afterward,” he admitted. “But it was the only thing I could imagine wanting to have on my body for the rest of my life.”
“You made a good choice,” she murmured, still watching him with those dark doe eyes. Then she lifted her head and scanned his torso. “You feel all right?”
“A little sore, I’ll admit. But it was worth it.”
She blushed and glanced away but he could see her fighting a smile. “You shouldn’t sleep here. The maids will see you in the morning,” she added unnecessarily.
“Right.” It was the most sensible course of action. As no matter how independent Alex was, it wasn’t good form to bed the daughter of his host. And yet, Lucien still felt disappointed. He threw back the covers and rose.
Alex pulled on her wrapper and helped him find his discarded clothes. Then he dressed.
“We will need to talk about this tomorrow,” he said with as much authority as he could muster.
Alex nodded and met his gaze straight on. “We will.” Then, before he could think twice, he wrapped an arm around her waist and gave her a deep, thorough kiss. Alex sank against him as if she had lost her ability to stand, and Lucien took that as a good sign.
When he finally pulled back, she blinked up at him in a daze. “Sleep well,” he murmured.
She nodded slowly. “You too.” Then she leaned against the door frame as Lucien shuffled down the darkened hallway.
He looked back when he reached his room and she was still there, watching him. He gave a little wave and she smiled before shutting her door.
Given the length and strenuousness of their bedsport, Alex should have slept soundly that night. But instead she lay awake for hours going over every detail of their encounter. She had not known it could be like that between a man and a woman—no, thatshecould be like that. But Lucien brought out a playful tenderness she hadnot indulged in for years. And the more Alex ruminated, the more the pit in her stomach grew and the louder her doubts sounded. Sometime close to dawn she finally drifted off into a fitful, restless sleep that provided little relief from her thoughts.
Hours later she awoke with a start on the edge of a dream in which Lucien’s lean form hovered above her while he whispered filthy things into her ear. Alex sat up and shook her head in a bid to strike the appealing image from her mind, but that did nothing for the warmth still pumping through her veins. The very realhappinessshe felt. She threw back the covers and rang the bellpull as she stalked to the en suite bathroom.
Alex couldn’t wait for the maid, so she turned on the taps of the bathtub. She still smelled him on her skin, her sheets, in her hair. That had to be why she dreamed of him. Why she could still feel his arms around her, still feel him inside her. The bottom of the bathtub was barely full of water but she threw off her wrapper and climbed in. Then she picked up the bar of soap and the sponge and got to work scrubbing him off her. She needed to be able to think. To focus on anything other than him.
Eventually the maid arrived and helped Alex wash her hair and dress for the day. Afterward, Alex sat at the dressing table while Millie styled her hair in a chignon. She was doing her final check when Alex cleared her throat.
“And is Mr. Taylor about?”
They was the first words she had uttered that morning. Millie met her gaze in the mirror and surprise briefly flashed across her face. But she was too well trained to let it linger.
“Yes, miss. I believe he is out in the garden with Miss Winifred.”
Alex instinctively clenched her hands on her lap then forced them apart. “Thank you. That is all, Millie.”
The girl then bobbed a curtsy and left the room.
Alex gazed at her reflection. Lucien had called her beautiful last night. Said she was like the sun. But all she saw was a somber woman of indeterminate age who looked incredibly tired. For a moment she was very tempted to steal the rouge Freddie kept secreted away in her room, but for what purpose? To what end? A bit of cosmetics wouldn’t change things. Things she had nowishto change, she stubbornly reminded herself as she shoved the chair back. Enough of this. Alex had already wasted too much of the morning on maudlin thoughts. If she left now, she could still have a productive day at the office.
Her stomach chose that moment to growl loudly in protest. Alex let out a sigh. Fine. She would eat first andthengo to the office. She headed downstairs full of purpose and was relieved to find the breakfast room empty. Trays of food were on the sideboard and she made a plate without really taking notice of the food. Alex had always liked this room. It was warm and cozy and offered a fine view of the back garden. Her mother once shared that the wallpaper was a print called the “Strawberry Thief” because it depicted a bird feasting on the fruit from a garden. Alex liked looking at it. The colors soothed her and gave her something to focus on while she ate. But just as she moved to sit, her gaze was caught by two figures outside. It was Freddie and Lucien coming into view. They were walking side by side, though Lucien was still limping just a bit. But whatever pain he might be feeling, that didn’t keep the grin off his face. Freddie was chattering away animatedly and his eyeswere riveted to her. Then she began to laugh and he joined in. If they had been two strangers that Alex happened upon in the park, she would have assumed they were a very happy young couple.
Something curdled in her chest and she set the plate heavily on the table. Even though her appetite had entirely vanished, she sat down in a chair. It wasn’t that the scene surprised her, exactly. Alex knew very well that Freddie and Lucien had a connection that long superseded whatever had developed between them these last weeks. But to see it so clearly before her eyes was different. Wasundeniable. She could allow that perhaps Lucien did think Alex was beautiful. And she could not dismiss the passion they had shared last night. But was that enough to sustain a relationship? Alex was very aware of her limits and they ended far before she could get anywhere close to Freddie’s natural effervescence. It seemed the height of folly to expect Lucien to simply forget about the girl he had loved for so long in favor of her older sister who possessed absolutely none of her qualities.
Alex swallowed as a bitter taste filled her mouth. She needed to leave. Before she had to face either of them. But as she rose from her chair, she heard voices just outside the room and in another moment the door swung open and there they were, still laughing and chatting away like a couple of old friends. Because theywereold friends. Alex was used to feeling out of place among other people. But it had never bothered her before. Now, though, as she waited for the two of them to notice her presence, she was gripped by something hot and ugly. It twisted low in her belly, winding its way up around her heart then squeezed until it felt like she couldn’t take a deep breath. For a brief moment Alex thought she might be dying and had to grip the back of the chair.
You aren’t dying, you idiot,the voice in her head chastised.You’rejealousof them.
Jealous.The thought struck her like a fist just as Lucien’s eyes met her own. And even though she could plainly see the warmth in his gaze, it wasn’t enough. Alex couldn’t handle this rush of feeling inside her, too strong and fast for her to control. She couldn’t allow herself to get swept away any more than she already had. So she tightened her grip on the chair and met his gaze head on.
“There you are,” Freddie trilled just over Lucien’s shoulder. “We were about to send for Dr. Mosley to attend to you. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you sleep past nine outside of this week.”
Alex did little more than grunt in response. She looked more stiff and drawn than usual, but Lucien was willing to bet she had slept even worse than he had. It had taken every bit of self-control not to go right back into her bedroom last night. Well, tonight he would not make the same mistake.
