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Somewhere during the hours I spend out in the rain, a person comes and sits down on the bench near to me. At this point I’ve slouched down onto the ground, holding my knees to my chest and rocking myself back and forth like a mental case. Strong arms lift me up and the person smells like Ethan. Seconds later I’m out of the rain and inside a warm, dry car. A blanket covers me and hot air blasts from the heater on the dash.
I watch the steam that leaves my mouth, as my cold breath mixes with the warm air.
“How did you find me?” I ask quietly. I still haven’t looked to confirm that it’s him, but I know it is. I know how he feels and what I felt when he held me was definitely all Ethan.
“It took a while,” he finally answers. “I realised that I really know nothing about you. I couldn’t think of one single place you liked to go. In the end I smelled you in the air and tracked you to the park.”
“I don’t have any places that I like to go here.” I whisper. “Not anymore.”
“I suppose that makes two of us.”
Now I turn my head to look at him for the first time. His blond hair hangs over his face; it’s grown longer than usual. “This city is too bleak. There aren’t any good places, not really,” I say to him.
He nods and peers out the window at the falling rain. “Here only the strongest survive. Sometimes it feels like one day the city will simply tear itself apart, no longer able to contain all of the animosity,” says Ethan. It’s strange that he’s said it, because I’ve had similar thoughts myself.
“If that’s how you feel then why do you stay here? You could go anywhere in the world.”
“Why do the impoverished remain in poor countries?” he counters. “Often you become tied to a place, with too many factors preventing you from leaving.”
“I don’t think that’s quite the same thing, Ethan.”
I expect him to argue with me, but instead he stays silent. He starts the engine and drives away from the park. His car is so comfortable and warm that I almost fall asleep. I think I stayed out in the rain for too long though, because I can’t seem to get any heat into my bones.
Ethan pulls up to his house and gets out of the car. I feel too weak to move straight away, but then he opens the door on my side, takes me into his arms and lifts me out.
“I don’t understand why you’re doing this. You hate me,” I say, as he carries me inside.
“Love and hate are always so intricately intertwined,” he answers back, ascending the stairs.
“Ira told me that vampires can never love humans the way they need to be loved.”
“Ira is a very wise man.”
“If he’s right then there’s no hope for us.”
“There was never any hope
for us, fata frumoasa.”
For just one second my heart stops beating. It feels like a lifetime since he last called me that. He carries me inside a sparsely furnished bedroom. All there is is a simple wardrobe and a bed with soft cream sheets. He holds me to him as he pulls back the duvet, and then lays me down. I expect him to try and climb in beside me, but he doesn’t.
“There’s an en-suite through that door and clean clothes in the wardrobe.”
“Why didn’t you just bring me to Finn’s?” I ask, confused.
“I don’t like you sleeping there,” he pauses and runs a hand through his too long hair, looking conflicted. “Please, just stay here for one night?”
I let my head fall back into the perfectly soft pillow. “Okay then,” I whisper, confused by his unexpected kindness. Just as he turns to leave, I say his name, “Ethan.”
He looks back at me, a wistful expression on his face.
“If there’s no hope for us as lovers, can we at least try to be friends?”
He sighs. “I already told you that won’t work either.”
“How do you know if you don’t try?”
He stands there, regarding me intensely for a few quiet moments. “Very well then, we shall try.”
