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He claims my mouth with his tongue, his hand travelling up to hold my neck. His thumb brushes back and forth over the bite marks and I feel it deep down in my centre. His other hand slips under the hem of the shirt and he groans when he touches me, realising I have no pants on. He slips his fingers right inside of me and I tremble against him.
“I take it you’re pleased with your haircut,” I manage to say, as his fingers move in and out.
“More than you can imagine,” he answers, thrusting so deep this time that I cry out.
I fumble with the waist of his jeans, trying to get them off him. In the back of my mind I know that what I’m doing is so very wrong, but I just need to lose myself in sensation right now, forget about all the bad things that have happened. As Ethan once told me, we can help each other to forget for a little while.
A few minutes of hungry kissing and groping later, I have his jeans undone. He removes his hand and in one smooth motion lifts me and moves himself inside me. I bury my face in his neck as I moan, moving up and down on him.
“You’re one of those women aren’t you,” I hear him say past all of our noises.
“What women?” I gasp as he fills me.
“The kind who never make eye contact during sex. The kind who you never know what’s going on inside their head. The kind who don’t want you to know,” the words tumble out of him. For a brief moment I see something beyond the controlled Ethan I’ve always known. For one second he seems completely lost in me.
“I make eye contact,” I protest.
“Never for long enough,” he counters, pulling my chin to him so that our gazes meet. I never knew how powerful that could be, just looking at him.
“You make me crazy,” he growls, using his fingers to rub me as he pumps into me.
“You make me crazier,” I whisper, burying my face in his neck again, unable to take the intimacy of looking at him. I orgasm against his hand and he reaches his own release, gripping my hips as he comes. I slump in a heap against him, unable to believe that I just had sex with Ethan on a chair in a bathroom.
We stay like that for a while, our bodies joined so intimately. I begin spreading little kisses across his neck and suddenly he lifts me up and carries me stark naked into his bedroom. Thank God Delilah and Lucas aren’t around to witness it.
Laying me in his bed, he enfolds me in his arms and holds me close. One of his hands cups my breast and the other rubs lightly at my stomach. His breath on the back of my neck is soothingly meditative, and after a while, with our hearts slowing down, we both drift to sleep.
Chapter Fourteen
Taking Back The Number Of The Beast
I don’t wake up until around eleven the next morning. Ethan’s scent is all over me and I can’t help the shivers that shoot through my body when I notice this. We’re still in the exact same position that we fell asleep in. I don’t want to leave. Outside this room the real world is waiting for me, and it holds absolutely no appeal.
I stay cuddled into Ethan for a long time, but I know I can’t stay here all day. Finn and Gabriel are probably wondering where I’d gotten to last night. Thoughts of Finn make my stomach twist with discomfort. We’re not together, have only shared one or two moments of intimacy, yet I feel guilty for what happened with Ethan. It’s like I’ve broken the bond we’ve been building and there’s no going back now.
Whoever said that having two men interested in you would be a dream come true was obviously a cold-hearted bitch. It’s not a pleasant situation to find yourself in at all. It actually makes me feel sick to my stomach.
I leave the bed slowly, making sure not to disturb Ethan, and go to find my clothes in the other room. I dress quickly and leave the house, making my way over to Finn’s place. Rita’s RV sits still and lonely in front of the house. I let my hand drift over its metal exterior, wishing I could click my fingers and she’d be the old Rita again.
“I take it you stayed with her last night,” Finn’s voice pulls me from my thoughts.
“Huh?” I say with a start, glancing away from the RV to find him standing in the doorway with a cup of tea in his hand.
“Rita, I assumed you stayed with her for the night. You never came back to the house.”
I stare at him now, my heart filling with guilt. I could simply lie and say that yes, I did spend the night with Rita, but that wouldn’t be fair to either of us.
“No that’s not where I was. I went for a walk
yesterday and then Ethan came looking for me..” I trail off, not knowing how to finish the sentence.
I glance away from him, staring down at my boots like they’re the most fascinating thing in the world.
“Why are you acting so weird?” asks Finn, taking a step forward and studying me. Suddenly his face changes when understanding hits him. He shakes his head and tightens his jaw. “Ah for fuck’s sake, Tegan. You spent the night with him, didn’t you?”
“I didn’t plan it.” That one little sentence sounds so ridiculous.
“Nobody ever plans that shit. I thought you were stronger than this. I thought we had something. I was so bloody right to hold off.”
