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She wasn’t coming back. This would be the end of who she was, and the beginning of a life she barely knew.
Her decision wasn’t out of love. Or perhaps it was. She didn’t want Adam to die. She believed, if it had been her life at risk, he would have saved her without question. Saving him was the right thing to do.
She lay awake several hours, coming to terms with her decision. She didn’t necessarily want immortality. Life had never been so happy she couldn’t bear to lose it. It always seemed appropriately measured, like eighty to ninety years would be enough and anything over a hundred would definitely be too long. But she’d also never been in a place where she had someone to go through it with.
Her thoughts touched on her mother as they often did. Even her relationship with her mom, which was so much more than the typical mother daughter bond, didn’t touch what a marriage should be. They were friends. Marriage was a partnership.
Annalise wasn’t agreeing to marriage. Mainly because she didn’t believe a marriage to a man like Adam would be an equal partnership. He’d said the Amish didn’t believe in divorce. And eternity made for an extra long contract.
No. She could only marry someone if she truly believed they were right for her in every aspect of the word. So long as she still questioned his trustworthiness and fairness she’d keep marriage off the menu. This was about saving him—nothing more, nothing less.
It was the rational decision to make. She needed to protect herself and not go into this with rose-colored glasses. People didn’t get married after one week of knowing each other. It was wise to hold off on any more major decisions.
So why did she feel so wretched? It was as if part of her wanted the marriage.
She was torn. Already giving up so much, she shouldn’t have to surrender anything else. She saw how those women lived, always at the house, always in the kitchen. Adam said a lot about her schooling and possibly pursuing further education, but without a plan in place, she was afraid it would never happen.”
She only needed to save him. Then, once she got a handle on her new life, she could make a decision about her future. They might be Amish, but she wasn’t.
Again, a sharp stab burrowed in her chest.
He could come with her. They could figure it out together. She could teach him to drive and he could teach her all the immortal tricks. They could live anywhere in the world. Maybe travel.
Her mind clung to any idea that didn’t include losing him. That’s when she knew this was more than a selfless act. A very selfish part of her wanted to keep him. The question was, for how long?
Chapter Thirty-Four
Annalise laughed as Adam followed her into the women’s bathroom of the Walmart. She quickly turned and shoved him out. “Wait here.”
His eyes held an unspoken argument, but she needed a moment to herself.
“I’ll be right back.”
Once in a stall, she changed out of her prairie garb and into a newly purchased sundress and flip-flops. The boots she’d been wearing were Abilene’s and that was the only reason she didn’t toss them right in the trash.
She bagged up her Amish clothes and left the stall. No more pins and layers. But when she saw her reflection, something hit her as off.
Her shoulders were too ... exposed. Her cleavage too sexy. And her arms too bare.
She twisted, glancing at the back that crossed where a bra strap would typically sit. Maybe she should buy a light sweater to go on top. Adam would never go for this.
She frowned. Why did she care if he found her clothes appropriate? There was nothing wrong with the dress. It was modest compared to what some girls wore. She was being ridiculous.
Adam hadn’t moved from outside the door and she nearly crashed into him when she exited the bathroom. “Stalk much?”
He fell into step beside her as they exited the store. “I don’t like leaving you in unfamiliar places.”
“It was a women’s bathroom.”
He didn’t comment.
They left the horse and carriage just outside of Bensalem at a small farm that had stables and taught riding lessons. From there, they’d called a cab, which Adam insisted wait for them while they shopped.
As they stepped through the automatic doors onto the sidewalk, it didn’t matter that it was almost ten at night. Walmart was as alive as ever and Adam always kept a protective hand on her.
“Adam, you can relax. We’re in my neighborhood.”
“I don’t trust these people. Some of their emotions aren’t welcoming or stable.”
The cab waited just where they left it, idling beyond a line of waiting shopping carts. Once inside, Annalise relayed her address and they were on their way.
