Teddy jumps to grab a low branch and pulls himself up so he’s sitting with his back to me. Then he drops backwards, hanging upside down by his knees. “Throw me a chocolate!”
I grab the peanut ones and walk over to him. He shakes his head. “No, throw it, I’ll catch it,” he says, opening his mouth wide and sticking out his tongue.
Groaning, I turn away, subtly rearranging myself in my boxers before going back to the rock. I swear he’s doing it on purpose. He never takes off his shirt like this. And now his tongue … My cock, oblivious to the bait, twitches in anticipation.
I’m unsure how many more times I need to tell myself not to think about him that way before it sticks. My feelings for Teddy are getting too complicated. Since we first met, there’s been a pull I couldn’t ignore. When I hid in the woods and saw him by the stream, I was helpless to do anything but go to him.
I haven’t even had the courage to tell him I’m gay. When I play the conversation through my head, I start to sweat and hyperventilate just at the thought of him not wanting to be my friend anymore. If he knew how I felt on top of that … if he pushed me away?—
Don’t think about that. He’s here, and he’s not going anywhere.
It takes a few tries throwing the chocolates before one lands perfectly. He whoops in delight, swinging himself upright, face red from hanging upside down for so long.
“So did something happen?” he asks out of the blue. “You’re quiet again. You never talk to me about—” His eyes go wide as he backtracks. “I mean when you can talk, you never say what happened … and that’s fine! I-I don’t expect you to tell me anything that makes you uncomfortable. Just … you can. You know that, right?”
I do know that, and if I could, I would tell him everything. But if he knew how scared I am of Shane … how scared I am of myself … I swallow down the guilt I feel for clinging to him, hating that I’ve grown to depend on our friendship as an escape from everything. I know it’s selfish. The more time I spend with him, the more danger I’m putting him in. And yet, despite the risks, I can’t stop. I draw in a shuddering breath and my chest feels tight all over again.
“Bay, it’s fine, we don’t have to talk about it, okay?”
Idowant to talk about it. One day I want to tell him everything. Just … not yet.
Teddy pulls himself up so that he’s standing on the branch, wobbling as he tries to walk along it. The branch extends over the stream, but it’s not overly large or sturdy-looking. He places one foot carefully in front of the other, arms spread wide.
I jump to my feet in anticipation. As if I’d be able to catch him if he fell. Then the idiot slips and my heart seizes. “No!” The word rips from my throat in a gasp as I rush towards him. He reaches up for a branch above just in time, catching it as he loses his footing, leaving him hanging by his arms.
He lets out a nervous giggle.
I stand there with my hands on my hips, watching him drop ungracefully to the ground. I’m in his face within seconds. “W-what the fuck is wrong with you?”
His mouth splits into a giant grin, and he grabs my arm, pulling me to him. “Hey, I told you you’d come back to me.”
I’m stunned for a moment. “You … you don’t have to scare me half to death to bring my voice back,” I grumble, rubbing my sore throat. I’m suddenly all too aware of how close he’s holding me against his bare chest. I feel it rise and fall, solid yet smooth beneath my fingertips. The proximity is scalding, and I try to step away from him.
All of a sudden, my feet are swept out from under me and I crash down to the forest floor. Teddy follows, straddling my waist, digging his fingers into my sides, tickling my ribs. I struggle to breathe through silent laughter, smacking his hands and begging him to stop.
Almost certain he lets me, I manage to flip us, pinning him down. He has a shit-eating grin on his face, looking like he’s exactly where he wants to be.
“You’re an idiot,” I say, frowning. All the tension in my body fades away, and I give myself a second to calm down. I realise staring into his eyes and counting the flecks of gold scattered amongst the obsidian doesn’t help at all, so I release his wrists and put my palms against the earth, either side of his head. For just a moment, I forget Teddy doesn’t know how I feel about him. My eyes dart to his lips. I’ve never let myself get close enough to notice the curve of them. Fascinated by the way they glisten as his tongue darts out to lick them.
When I meet his eyes again, he’s frowning. I panic that he’s figured out how I feel about him, that he’s about to throw me off or punch me in the face. But then he cups the back of my neck, pulling me down. Our lips touch and I squeeze my eyes shut, not daring to move.
“Bay,” he whispers, lips moving against mine. My rigid jaw softens and my mouth falls open in a soft gasp. The barest touch of his tongue against mine sends a bolt of electricity through me, and I stop thinking altogether. My tongue curls around his, and he lets out a deep hum that vibrates in my chest. He untangles my hairband and fists my hair, pushing me harder against him. The tug on my scalp snaps me back to reality. My best friend is kissing me …Teddyis kissing me.
I know I don’t deserve this—don’t deserve him, but I push the thoughts away, chasing his tongue and nipping at his lips.I thread my fingers through his dark curls, holding on tight, as though he were a lifeline.
Teddy pushes a hand against my chest, forcing me to sit up. I refuse to open my eyes, not wanting to see his face. If there’s regret written across it, or he says it was a mistake, I?—
“Bay, look at me.”
I shake my head.
“Bay.” He sits upright, pushing me back so I’m sitting on his lap, wrapping his arms around me. “Please look at me.”
I slowly open one eye and see his grin firmly back in place. I puff out a breath and brush my hair away from my face.
“I’ve wanted to do that for a while now,” he says. “I didn’t stop to think whether you’d want to. I mean … you looked like you wanted to, but if you didn’t then I’m sor?—”
I place my hand over his mouth. “I wanted to, Teddy.”
