“Are you able to talk?” he asks as he carries me towards our bedroom. I shake my head. I haven’t said a single word in a month.
“That’s okay. You always come back to me eventually, right?”
I nod, hoping he’s right. Whenever I get like this, I’m scared my voice has left me forever. It feels impossible to fight the knot in my throat. My mouth finds its way to Teddy’s neck, kissing him there, tongue slipping out to taste him, making sure this is real.
When we get to the bedroom, Teddy lets go of me like he expects me to drop onto the bed, but I can’t make my arms and legs release him. He laughs, but I don’t find it funny. I've missed him, and I can’t even tell him. Tears roll down my cheeks onto his neck. I know the moment Teddy feels them because his arms envelope me, squeezing tight. He turns us around and sits on the edge of the bed, pulling me closer, rubbing circles on my back. “I know you can’t get your words out right now, but I’m ready to listen whenever you can.” He gently pulls me away from his neck, cupping my face so he can kiss my forehead. “Something bad happened at your mum's?”
I nod, avoiding his eyes, not wanting to see pity there. I know it was all my fault. I should have controlled myself and not hurt those animals, should have left Shane to deal with Mum, should have fought against Dean instead of letting him touch me like that.
We sit in silence for a while, and I use my sleeve to dry my eyes. Teddy wouldn’t be comforting me if he knew everything. He wouldn’t want to touch me. I’m terrified that I’m putting him in danger by coming back here. Though I want to believe I would never hurt him, Ihaveto believe that, because he’s the only thing that keeps me grounded. I feel so fucking fractured, and nothing feels as right as when I’m with him.
“You’re alright now, just—just don’t leave again, Bay, it’s not worth it,” he says cautiously. He kisses my neck, up to my jaw, and along to my lips. I close my eyes and let him consume me. The feel of his hands on my thighs, the scrape of his stubble against my chin, the way his hard length presses against me. I want more. I want him to take everything away.
He pulls away and we lock eyes. A silent understanding passes between us, and in a rush of movement, Teddy flips me onto my back. He kicks his trousers off, then his hands go straight to my jeans, peeling them off me. I grab the hem of hisT-shirt, desperate to touch him, and he lifts his arms. I break the kiss so I can pull it off over his head, but when he reaches to do the same to me, I slap his hand away.
“What?” he asks, startled.
I’ve never had an issue taking my top off before, but he’ll notice the new scars and realise I lied to him. All I can do is shake my head as I reach for his boxers. His hands fall to the bed on either side of my head and his breathing picks up as I rub his hard cock, hot and heavy, through the fabric. Hooking my thumbs into his waistband, I pull his boxers down as far as I can. Teddy kicks them off the rest of the way, then rids me of mine. All the while I’m reaching for the bedside cabinet, rummaging around for the lube he keeps in there, somewhere. My fingers finally brush against the cool plastic bottle and a foil packet. I pull them out and hold them out to him.
He takes them from me and frowns. “What do you want?”
In the month I spent away from him, he was all I thought about. Not a day went by that I wasn’t glued to my phone texting him. He was in my head when I was awake, and in my dreams when I slept. He’s everywhere, and everything. I’ve been ready for this for a while now, and If I hadn’t gone back home, I’m sure it would've happened sooner. I swallow around my sore throat and manage to croak out, “You.” It comes out too quietly and makes me cough. “I want … you.”
Teddy’s brows knit together as he looks down at me, “You already have me, mo leannan.”
I shake my head at him, the tips of my ears burning from embarrassment. “Inside … of me.”
His eyes go wide and he doesn’t move, just hangs over me, so I grab the back of his neck and pull him down so that his body blankets mine, our lips almost touching. “Please,” I whisper.
He seals our lips in a kiss that takes my breath away, but it’s over too quickly, my mouth chasing him as he pulls away. Hislarge, warm hands run up my thighs, over my stomach, stroking me everywhere, making the hairs on my arms stand up and my body vibrate in anticipation. He wraps a hand around my hard cock and strokes me slowly while dipping his head to deliver open-mouthed kisses to my hips. I squeeze my eyes shut, trying not to think about my back rubbing against the mattress, but I find myself counting each scar as we move.
I’m ripped from my thoughts by the shock of being pinched on my thigh. My eyes fly open, and I frown at Teddy.
“Eyes on me, Bay.”
A small whimper escapes me at the command and I nod.
“I need to know you’re okay with what I’m doing. If you’re struggling to talk, then I need to see your face.”
I nod, watching as he reaches for the lube and pours some onto his fingers. He grabs the back of my thighs, pushing them up towards my sides.
“Grab hold,” he says, nodding to them.
I grip under my knees and pull them up. Feeling cool air brush over my hole, I suck in a breath, feeling exposed all of a sudden. Teddy exhales a shuddering breath and brushes a finger over my hole while wrapping his free hand around my cock. He puts pressure against my rim and I slam my eyes shut, body going taut.
“Bay,” he says sternly. My eyes snap to his deep brown irises. I can see heat in them, mixed with concern. “I need you to watch me.” His finger slides into me, and my breath hitches. I can do that. I can keep my eyes open if I focus on Teddy and how he feels inside of me.
He slides his finger out completely, then presses back in with a second. The sting is more brief than the initial intrusion, and I quickly feel pleasure overtake the discomfort. I only realise I’ve lost my erection when he starts stroking me slowly, and I feel the pressure of the blood rushing through me again. He twistshis other hand around inside of me and curls his fingers up. My stomach tenses, and I gasp.
“That good?” Teddy chuckles.
I nod eagerly, never taking my eyes off his face. He carries on stretching me open, taking his time while driving me insane. My hands grip onto my legs so hard I’m sure they’ll leave bruises, and by the time he removes his fingers from me and lets go of my aching cock, I collapse back onto the bed, panting as though I’ve run a marathon.
Teddy shuffles forwards on his knees, stroking my legs as he stares into my eyes, nervous energy bouncing between us. I wriggle on the mattress in anticipation. He opens the condom and rolls it down the length of his cock. “Ready?” he asks softly.
I nod and reach for his arm, tugging on him until we’re chest to chest, my lips finding his. He shifts his hips and moves his hand down between us, rubbing the head of his cock against my hole in firm circles. All my attention focuses on where our bodies meet. My mouth hangs open, lips pressed against his, both of us panting out short, shallow breaths.
He pushes forward. The prep he’s done helps a little, but the further the head goes in, the more it stings. Sharp pain slices through me, and I cry out as the head finally pops through my tight ring.
