“Still doesn’t explain why the music is so damn loud at this time in the morning,” I grumble, feeling my temples throb with every pulse of the bass.
“Well, I can’t hear it,” Granda mutters.
“Of course you can’t.” I stand up and slap him on the back. “I’m going to tell them to turn it down.” After slipping on my boots, I head out to the barn. The music becomes clearer, and as a new song begins, I swear whoever is inside turns the volumeup. As if it wasn’t loud enough already.
The doors to the barn are wide open, with a tractor parked in the entryway. I squeeze through a gap and immediately see the source of my headache: a cylindrical speaker sits wedged between two wooden beams blasting out music. I step towards it, but my eyes are drawn like magnets to a man who has his back to me, stabbing a hay bale with a pitchfork. His blonde hair’s been pulled up into a messy bun with some curls spilling free, and my skin crawls as I recall seeing someone in my bedroom window last night. How much they looked like?—
The man turns around, and I’m suddenly looking into ice-blue eyes. My knees threaten to give out as the walls close in on me.
“Bailey?” My voice trickles out in a hoarse whisper as I stand mere feet away from the man I’ve only seen in my nightmares for the past twelve years. He’s older, and his face has sharper angles than when we were boys, but that’s definitely my ex-boyfriend staring back at me.
Bailey’s eyes widen in recognition, lips curving up into a smile. He pulls his phone out and stops the music. All I can hear is my thumping heartbeat as he takes a step towards me.
The flames lick up the walls and along the floor. Too close. Too hot. Black smoke starts to settle, making it hard to draw in air.
Tiny pinpricks tingle on my palms and spread up my neck to the top of my head.Why the hell is he still smiling at me?
I see red. Clenching my right fist, I punch him hard in the jaw, and he lets out a grunt, stumbling back.
“What the fuck?” he yells.
“Get out,” I grit out through clenched teeth, shaking my throbbing hand.
He stares back at me then lets out a hollow laugh, rubbing his jaw. “You’ve got some fucking nerve, Teddy.”
Me? Why the hell is he even here?
I grab him by the bicep, pulling him towards me until we’re nose to nose. “I said, get out.”
He sucks in a breath as I start dragging him towards the barn door, but then he starts fighting against it, and I lose my grip on him. He shoves me, and I slip on some hay. We move at the same time; his fist connects with my chin, and we fall into a heap on the floor. He kicks and punches wildly, trying to get away from me. One of his punches catches me on the cheek, but I shake it off, pinning his arms down before straddling him. My hands lunge for his neck and squeeze.
“Teddy, stop!” he gasps.
I startle when I feel arms around my chest, hauling me up. Muffled voices break through the sound of my ragged breathing. I recognise Robbie’s deep, rumbling timbre in my ear, but I can’t register what he’s saying. He drags me out of the barn as I fight the confines of his arms, and I see my uncle Liam bend down towards Bailey.
“Hey! What the hell has got into you?” Robbie shouts, spinning me around and gripping my shoulders tightly.
I have no words for him. He doesn’t know my history with Bailey, and I don’t want him or anyone else to ever find out. I want to go back to pretending those two years of my life never happened.
“Theo, look at me.” He shakes me until I look at him. “This isn’t like you; what did he do?”
“Nothing,” I say, clenching my jaw tight. After all these years I’m not even sure how much of it was real, or whether mynightmares have tainted the memories. I shake free of Robbie’s hold. His touch is too much; my skin feels as though it’s on fire.
Robbie lets out a frustrated huff, putting his hands on his hips. “Go cool off.” He motions for me to leave.
I try not to run as I head off down the shingle path, over the stone wall, and across the fields.
“Fuck,” I rasp.He shouldn’t be here … he has no reason to be here!
I can’t think clearly. My ears are ringing and I’m so hot I can feel sweat running down the small of my back.
I make it across two fields before I get the courage to check that no one’s following me. The stone wall bordering the next field is warm to the touch as I swing myself over. I spot two familiar mounds of ginger fur lying under some trees and make my way towards them, boots squelching through the mud.
“Hey, lassies.” The highland cows lift their giant heads, huffing in acknowledgement. A cold, wet nose presses into my palm. “Sorry, I didn’t bring any treats for you,” I say as I scratch behind Rosie’s ears.
It’s silent except for the sound of the girls’ soft chuffing noises. I place my hand on Rosie’s side and close my eyes, feeling the strong beat of her heart under the thick coat of fur. It isn’t enough to calm me this time. My skin crawls when I picture Bailey’s face. Why the fuck was he smiling? I try to place the man I saw today with the boy I met when I was sixteen—beauty still disguising the evil within.
I felt sorry for him when we first met, protective even, yet it wasn’t him who needed protecting.
