“It’s fine, Bay. I liked being on my own. Pretty sure I have the world’s lowest sex drive, anyway.”
“What? You absolutely do not have a low sex drive,” I scoff. Back when we started dating, as soon as he discovered the wonders of a blowjob, he was insatiable. And over the past two days, he’s initiated everything without hesitation. None of it feltforced. All of this reminds me of something Noah mentioned once. “Have you heard of the term demisexual before?”
He shakes his head. “No.”
“It means that you need to be emotionally close to someone before you start to feel sexual attraction for them. If you don’ttrust the person you’re dating, then it makes sense you wouldn’t feel any desire to take things further.”
I’m pulled to a stop, and when I turn, Teddy’s standing there, looking perplexed.
“That makes sense, I guess,” he says. “I didn’t know there was a word for it.”
“I think the fact people are being more open about their sexuality now is helping them realise they’re not alone in how they feel. It definitely wasn’t talked about when we were kids.”
“No. Even back then, I wondered why Robbie was running around like a rampant rabbit, and I was happy to just be by myself.” He tugs on my arm, pulling me close. “Until you, of course. It’s always easy with you.”
My stomach flutters as I look into his eyes and realise the implication of the last few days—he trusts me again.
“What about you, anyway?” Teddy asks, brushing a stray curl behind my ear. “Did you date much?”
There’s really not much to say about that. Living twenty years thinking you could suddenly black out and hurt someone, or worse, is enough to dampen any sexual appetite I may have had. I’d never taken a risk like I had with Teddy again. “Not dating … um, a few hookups.” I swallow, feeling embarrassed all of a sudden. “When I started therapy they put me on antidepressants, and it messed with everything. I either couldn’t get it up, or couldn’t finish when I did, so I’ve been single for a while. Came off the pills a couple of years ago, but I felt a little out of the game by that point.”
Teddy leans in, breath tickling my ear as he says, “I don’t think that’s an issue anymore.”
“Apparently not,” I mutter, as my stomach tightens.
His phone dings, startling us both. He pulls away to check it, and I watch as his eyes widen. “What is it?”
He turns the phone around to show me a picture of us on the dance floor; Teddy crowding over me, my back bending slightly as he cups my face. “Who …? Why would they upload that?” I splutter.
Pulling the phone back, he looks again and says, “One of Isla’s friends uploaded it and tagged me. I may have taken her on a date a few months ago, and not called her back for a second.”
“That’s not okay, Teddy,” I huff.
“She didn’t like shellfish! I’m ascallopdiver,” he says defensively.
“Not you,her. She doesn’t know if you’re out or not. She can’t just upload shit like that on the internet.” I’m so caught up in the fact that this woman is outing Teddy to the whole world that it takes me a moment to realiseI’min the photo too. “You need to message her. I-I can’t have my picture on there,” I say, feeling too warm.
“It’s fine, Bay, I don’t mind. Let everyone see, I have nothing to hide.”
“I do!” I shout, hands going to my hair and gripping on tight. “I don’t have social media. I can’t have my family knowing where I am. Please, ask her to take it off.”
“Shit, okay.” He types out a message, and I hear the whoosh as it sends, then he pulls me against his chest. “You’re fine. No one’s going to find you here.”
“Sorry,” I mumble into his jumper.
“For what? You’re allowed to have boundaries, Bay. I’ve only met her a couple of times, so I’m not sure why she took that photo, anyway.”
I hate how fast my body reacts to danger—I’m fine one minute, and the next it feels like the world is closing in on me, as if I’m about to slip off a ledge and fall for eternity. I feel the coarse wool of Teddy’s jumper between my fingers and hear the rushing water as it runs along giant boulders down the hill. Themixture of the ocean on Teddy’s clothes and the earthy smell of mud and moss from the trail fills my nose.
Another message dings.
“It’s gone,” he says softly, kissing my forehead. “Want to keep going? I think it’s only a few more minutes until we reach the waterfall.”
“Yeah.” I pull away and let him take my hand again as we carry on. Teddy’s talking, but I have no idea what he’s saying as I’m busy trying to calm myself down.
They can’t find me here. I’m safe. I have Teddy, Noah, and Jake. They won’t let anything happen to me.
“Here,” Teddy says a few minutes later. I shake my head, realising I wasn’t even watching where I was walking. We’re standing in front of a semicircle of rock face. Small waterfalls cascade over the ledge and splash into a crystal clear pool. Mountains dominate the landscape behind it. “It’s beautiful,” I murmur.
