Chapter Twenty
Georgiana’s hands settled on Caroline’s hips and squeezed, eliciting a gasp of pleasure that seemed only to spur Miss Darcy onwards. Caroline’s hands slid up into Georgiana’s hair, finding the curls just as soft as she’d imagined, tugging gently at the roots. “Don’t—” Miss Darcy panted, but whatever it was that she didn’t want Caroline to do was entirely lost in a flurry of passion; she kissed like a dying woman, all desperation and desire to hold on.
By the time they eventually parted, Caroline’s lips were sore and her entire body on fire. Slightly dazed, she watched Georgiana smooth the front of her dress down as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. The only evidence of their embrace was that her face and neck were flushed a most becoming shade of rose and she was purposefully avoiding Caroline’s gaze.
Had Caroline been a different sort of woman—one who was sensitive and easily wounded—she might have interpreted the avoidance as a slight. Instead, she smiled and reached out to take Georgiana’s hand.
Georgiana seemed to deflate at the touch. “I tried my utmost,” said she, her voice hoarse. “Let it be known that I tried to resist you. Lord knows I may be weak, but I am not as weak as all that.”
Caroline hesitated. That one was a little more difficult to ignore; Georgiana might be evincing regret, in which case the tiny prick of hurt she herself felt was entirely justified, or perhaps it was that Caroline was simply so unbelievably enticing that Georgiana had not been able to withstand the sheer temptation of Caroline’s bewitching beauty. The latter was a much more flattering interpretation and was therefore the one she chose to believe.
“Now you know I am not perfect,” Georgiana added, in a voice barely above a whisper. “Far from it. I did warn you.”
Oh.A third option.Caroline stared at her, then took Georgiana’s hand. “Whatever can you mean by such a thing?”
Miss Darcy bit her lip and made no reply. Her hand lay limp in Caroline’s, who squeezed it firmly and shuffled closer. “This seems as good a time as any to pick up our conversation from the ball,” Caroline continued, when no answer was forthcoming, “when I was prevented from replying to your statements in the expeditious manner that I would have liked. Allow me to do so now. I wish to make it utterly plain that I do not care a whit if you fence or gallop or wear breeches around Pemberley every day or whatever else your heart desires. If one cannot do the things one likes in one’s own home, then one is not truly free.” The memories of Hadley Hall, cold and unloving, echoed in her mind. “In fact,” she declared, “I do not think I care very much for Miss Georgiana Darcy, paragon of perfection. I much prefer you, whomever you are. I thought I knew you before, but you were correct—I knew only the face you presented to the world. There is far more to you than meets the eye, and I would very much like to know the real version.”
The longing look Georgiana gave her, helpless and hopeful all at once, stole Caroline’s breath. “Do you mean that?”
“To whom do you think you are talking? Am I not known for my honesty?”
Georgiana managed a watery laugh, and Caroline was surprised to see her friend on the verge of tears. “Come here,” she said, tugging Georgiana into an embrace. “I promise that all your secrets are safe with me.”
Caroline insisted that they finish their sherries while discussing the events of the ball, going over every detail of the conversation between Mr Acton and Miss Merryhill a second time, lest something had been forgotten during the first recital. By the time Georgiana’s glass was empty, colour had returned to her cheeks and she seemed more like herself again. Caroline escorted her up the stairs and to the door of her bedchamber, lingering while they said goodnight.
“You know,” Georgiana said, leaning closer, as if she were about to kiss Caroline again. “I would never have guessed that you would attempt to matchmake. It appears that I am not the only one to whom there is far more than meets the eye.”
With an impish smile, she slipped into her room and closed the door behind her. Caroline chuckled, half-outraged and half-amused, and returned to her own room. Once inside, she closed the door and leaned back against it. A general who had triumphed ought to allow herself a moment or two to relive the finer points of the battle, particularly those parts which had involved breathy little moans. She lost herself in the memory a little longer than intended and began her usual ablutions with some reluctance. The cool water with which she washed her face managed to somewhat calm the fire which Georgiana had ignited in her. Once she’d brushed her hair, Caroline slid into the bedsheets with some eagerness; the sooner she slept,the sooner another day would begin, and the sooner another kiss could be procured.
Unfortunately, another dream overtook her. In this one, Caroline looked down to find herself wet to her knees in the lake, her petticoat clinging to her. The water which slopped around her lower thighs was not cold, as she had feared, but as warm as bathwater. When she looked to the shore, Georgiana was standing there, trembling like a leaf in high winds, though she was perfectly dry. This was a reversal of positions from the first dream, and Caroline did not know what to make of it. Beyond Miss Darcy’s figure, the treeline looked wrong—smudged together somehow, as if someone had rubbed over a charcoal drawing. The sky was a brilliant black, glossy as a horse’s mane. No sun of any colour hung in the sky, yet Georgiana’s face was clearly visible as if lit by an internal candle.
She looked afraid, Caroline realised. No, more than that. Utterly terrified.
Of what? Of me?
Without thinking, she held out her hand. Georgiana hesitated for a long moment, then stepped closer. No words passed between them as Georgiana’s eyes searched her own. Caroline knew not what her friend was searching for and kept her hand outstretched.I won’t harm you, she thought, and Georgiana’s eyes widened as if she’d uttered the words out loud. Before she could blink, Miss Darcy walked into the water and grasped Caroline’s hand, holding on tightly, as if fearing she would drown without it.
Caroline drew her backwards, down into the inky depths where they had gone before, only now she was the one leading, the one who yearned for the darkness of the cave. She was certain, without knowing quite how she knew, that inside laysome great treasure or another. Whatever it was was not without danger, but the danger was worth the reward. Her hair had flown free of its fastenings with the pressure of the water, and dark curls tumbled around her head, obscuring her vision, but she walked on steadily. Something hot and insistent in her chest was ushering her forward, and if she would only rely upon its guidance, she was sure that all would be well.
Georgiana’s fingers tightened their grip as they approached the cave. The great mouth yawned much wider than Caroline remembered from the first dream, though perhaps it was simply that they were closer this time. Nothing lay inside but the utter darkness of infinite night. This was the only exit, she was sure. Oh, one could walk onto the shore and wander around as one pleased, but those smudges pretending to be trees were no more woodland than a painting was. There was no escape on land. The only way out was through the cave, regardless of what lay ahead.
Unexpectedly, Georgiana’s fingers loosened. Caroline panicked, reaching back to grab blindly in the darkness, but her hand found nothing to hold on to.Lead, Georgiana’s voice said in her ear.Lead and I will follow.
Caroline took one halting step forward and then another. Blackness engulfed her, swallowing her, and the water which served as air grew thick and warm in her mouth and lungs. She took another step, then halted. She could hear nothing but her own heartbeat. What if Georgiana was not there? What if something had happened to her, or she had become lost? What if Caroline emerged from this place to find herself quite alone?
She couldn’t bear it a moment longer. Whirling, she gazed at the entrance of the cave, which now seemed a long way away,to where a familiar figure stood.You said you wouldn’t look back, Georgiana’s voice in her ear accused, and the figure vanished.
Caroline woke with a cry, an unfathomable ache yawning inside her. Somehow, she had made a mistake and done what she had declared she would never do. She had a horrible, nagging feeling that she was missing something terribly important.
Yet, it was only a dream, was it not?
At breakfast, Georgiana’s hair was still damp at the ends, suggesting she had gone for another one of her morning swims in the lake. Caroline seated herself, wondering how she might get herself invited along to the next one; rising at dawn might be tolerable once or twice a week as long as there was a particularly lovely view on display. They exchanged their usual greetings with warmth, which was a vast improvement on the previous day, causing the housekeeper to eye them both curiously as she laid a rack of browned toast on the table in front of Caroline.
“That is the perfect shade, Mrs Reynolds!” Caroline exclaimed. “I do not know how you manage it when I myself do not have any idea how well-done I want the toast until I enter this room.”
The housekeeper beamed. “It is no sorcery, Miss Bingley, merely my own intuition.” She glanced at Georgiana, who sighed. “That is another shilling lost, Miss Darcy.”
“I must break my losing streak eventually,” Georgiana declared, though she did not sound particularly confident.
