“Last time, you weren’t rappelling from it, either.”
Blythe shrugged. “There is that. But Cory showed me the ropes.” Blythe laughed. “Ropes. Ha. Get it?” She picked up the rope from the ground. “Besides, I’ve been watching YouTube videos all week.”
“Which makes you an expert climber?” Ricki said with a snort.
“It’s not like I’m rappelling off a mountain.” She pointed toward the roof of the bungalow. “It’s only one and a half stories.Piece of cake.” Blythe connected the carabiner to her harness. “Chicks dig carabiners.”
“No, that’s just lesbians.”
“Well, isn’t Abby a lesbian?”
“She’s not that type of lesbian.”
Blythe laughed. “What type of lesbian is she then?”
“She’s just not…I mean…I can’t see her being into carabiners,” Ricki stammered.
Blythe enjoyed watching Ricki squirm trying to explain herself, so Blythe remained silent and gave Ricki a puzzled look.
“She’s a bookish lesbian, not a sporty one,” Ricki offered in explanation.
“But she’s a runner.” Blythe was screwing with Ricki, just to see how Ricki would wriggle out of this one.
“Whatever.” Ricki waved her hand at Blythe. “Are you sure that old chimney will hold your weight?”
“I’m not that heavy. I’m just glad Granny didn’t have it ripped out when you took the fireplace out.”
“What if it screwed with the integrity of the chimney—weakened it?” Ricki glanced at the chimney with concern on her face. “You could crack your fucking head open and tear apart my house all for a stupid stunt.”
“Christ. I’m one hundred and fifty pounds. I doubt I’ll destroy the chimney.”
“But you might fall on your head.”
“And that’s why I agreed to wear your stupid bike helmet.” Blythe snatched the helmet off the front step. “I’ll put it on before I go up to tie off the rope.”
“I’m going up with you.” Ricki marched toward the ladder resting against the side of the house.
“Why the hell are you doing that?” Blythe jogged to catch up with Ricki. “You don’t even like heights.”
“I know. But I’m not trusting you to secure the rope. You’ll connect it half-assed, and it could come undone. My insurance company wouldn’t appreciate you falling because the rope wasn’t tied right.”
Blythe refrained from commenting that Ricki’s insurance company would frown on someone rappelling off her roof.
Once on the roof, it took them ten minutes to get the rope tied to Ricki’s satisfaction.
“Happy now?” Blythe said after Ricki had yanked on the rope for the dozenth time.
Ricki pulled one last time. “I suppose. Tell me again—why?”
“You know why. That fucking little dykonic dumbshit,” Blythe said, butchering Dapper&Dykonic’s handle. “She’s all over the place with her new ‘love.’” Blythe made air quotes when she said love.
“So you’re gonna show her what a dumbshit you are? A trip to the ER would knock her off her throne.”
“She’s not on the fucking throne. My posts with Abby are still trending higher than hers. We have about thirty-five percent more engagement.”
“Why are you still competing with her?” Ricki inspected the knot again and gave the rope another pull.
“I’m not. But I can’t let my guard down. Followers are fickle. I need to keep them interested.”
