Yeah. Then I’ll have all the power.
Let’s see how you like that, Benny Boy.
An hour later, after the fastest and probably sloppiest lifting session of my life, I’m back home in a continued staring contest with my phone. It was all I could think about at the gym.
No. Ineed to have some self-restraint. He deserves to wait for a message.
Sighing in defeat, I sit at my laptop to work on my college acceptance paperwork and dorm preferences. But as soon as I open it, a ping sounds on the school's instant messaging website, Trolley from Shirley.
Not really,I think to myself.
A low ding sounds, signaling she signed off.
Sigh.
She’s so pushy. I hate feeling pressured to do these things…but I’ll admit I have been curious. The one video I saw of him at practice made me feel something interesting. Something different and new but appealing.
What the heck. I’m eighteen. I can watch stuff like this now. I’m about to go to college where I'll likely see stuff like this more often anyways.
I slowly roll the mouse over her message and click the link. A website with black and blue stripes pops up with light blue coding designs integrated within to make it appear high tech. The top of the website in large bold letters states, “Welcome to Xypher” with Log in or Register next to it. Exiting out, I return to her instant message and click the link again only to be directed to the same thing. Looks like I can’t view the video unless I sign up for an account.
Everyone I know gets addicted to this site so I was hoping I could view it without creating a permanent account.
But I'm smart enough not to get addicted… I think.
I bet everyone at college will have this, and I do want to try to fit in more there. Plus, maybe this is a way to keep in touch with Ben once we’re apart. It’ll be another way for us to connect.
Screw it. I’m signing up.
I click Register and fill out all the applicable information. The last step is username. Hm…
My fingers move along the keyboard involuntarily, picking out the username. Unknown99. Good enough, I guess.
Bypassing the profile picture section to keep anonymity, I click create, then exit to go back to her IM, hoping her link works now. Finally, the mysterious biker boy’s profile pops up…or should I saymanby the looks of it. My eyes widen as I take in his whole page. Videos upon videos of him dancing shirtless with a helmet on fly upwards, mixed with even sexier videos of his abs, wet grey sweatpants…many, many things that make my body burn from the inside out.
My God, his abs.
The videos where he’s dancing in the rain aresoincredibly hot. The one the girls showed me before was just of him dancing fully clothed in a motorcycle helmet in an old parking lot. I had no idea that behind that video were others that were way more intense, way more…sensual.
An unfamiliar tingling sensation develops, increasing in intensity as I continue watching his videos. It’s a pleasing sensation that I don’t know what to do with as it spreads outward, igniting the burn to a tingling fire throughout my body.
From what I can see, he began to make these sexier seduction themes in the last month. There are so many thirst traps posted in that timeframe that it’s overwhelming me to get through them all. Whatprompted the change to make him go this route? Not like I’m complaining…
A hint of shame paired with excitement spreads through me as I continue watching and scrolling, unable to take my eyes off the screen.
Is this wrong? Should I not be doing this?
I get out of the chair and pace, unsure of what to do with this unfamiliar energy buzzing inside me. How do I deal with this new feeling? How do I release this sensation? Do I tell Mom?
Ick, no.
The thought of telling my mother about what I’m doing and feeling right now disgusts me. It feels… dirty and forbidden, but I secretly like it. Do I explore this?ShouldI explore this?
Eight o’clock…hmm. I know what I’ll do. I’ll think about what to do while I get ready for bed. Yeah. That way I’m not making any rash decisions.
My normal nightly routine is spent in a daze, the motions autonomous as my brain fixates on the biker instead of what I’m doing in the present. Just the few seconds of intro that the videos showed me play on repeat in my head, making that sensation in the nether regions constant.
The shower doesn’t help. If anything, the warm water makes it worse.
