I get dressed in a daze and make my bed, avoiding my now closed computer screen.
I’ll deal with it later. I don’t need to sort all this out now.
The drive to pick up Chinese food is uncomfortable at first, to say the least. Dad doesn’t say much, and neither do I. Shifting in my seat, I search for a conversation topic to break the silence, but I’m coming up completely blank. I only pray he won’t bring up what happened in my bedroom. Luckily, a break in the tension occurs at the gas station when we run into my fourth-grade teacher, Ms. Roche.
She remembers me right off the bat. It’s heartwarming to reminisce over how I was the best reader in the class, although I could have done without her telling my dad about the one time I got caught cutting the girl’s hair in front of me with scissors, and admitting to her when I got caught that I didn’t know if regular scissors could cut hair or not. He shoots me a jokingly stern frown and eye-brow raise, making us laugh.
I’m grateful for her presence, giving us a reprieve from the tension, especially because the rest of thedrive is completely normal. All the awkward moments from before vanish.
Our timing is perfect. By the time we pull into the driveway, Mom is just pulling in and by the dancing in her car, she’s definitely excited to have her favorite Chinese dish of pork soup dumplings and egg rolls waiting for her.
The rest of the night goes as usual—joking around about their books, poking fun at each other and watching Tidal Wave, our favorite natural disaster movie.
My emotional cup is full by the time I walk upstairs to go to bed. Everything’s going to be just fine between me and my father, thank God. Here’s hoping he doesn’t tell Mom about it either so we can forget the entire encounter ever happened.
I check my phone, which surprisingly has no messages on it and curl up in my bed, comfort finding me immediately.
My thoughts drift aimlessly, the interactions with Ben filling my brain, preventing me from relaxing all the way. As my mom taught me, I acknowledge the thoughts and then do my best to let them go, attaching no emotion to them.
His eyes widening each time he saw me in my dress…
The subtle movements of his lips indicating some sort of emotion hidden behind his solemn face…
We’re in such a weird place right now. I don’t know how we move forward from here. Especially with the fact that he hasn’t texted me or made any moves to reconcile. Of course, I guess it has only been like a day. Maybe we’ll sort this out tomorrow or by the end of the week.
Yeah, we’ll be okay...We have to be.
ChapterSeven.
The next day at school is rough. A stark horniness sets me on edge, distracting me all day. All of this is so new to me. Am I really going to have to start masturbating every day to feel normal? That would definitely hurt my ability to be a socially acceptable, functioning human being.
Each time I get called on ends with a frustrated glance from the teachers. I’m completely checked out, the only focus possible being on those videos of the biker boy waiting for me at home.
Today’s outfit choice is a blue and white spotted dress to see if I can get another reaction from Ben. Unintentionally, it brings the attention of Jared once more, causing us to replay our walk down the hallway and him putting his arm over me every chance he gets.
Ben’s facial reactions upon seeing Jared and I together, or when just seeing me in general, get more obvious.
Anger. Jealousy. Hurt.
They all flash on his face in that order. By the end of the day, he looks like he’s going to punch something or someone.
I don’t know why he’s getting so worked up. I’ve seen him and Tree together like this tons of times andIdidn’t freak out…well not outwardly. I keep myself in check even if it hurts or angers me at times. He’s acting like I’m committing the biggest act of betrayal by hanging around Jared. We’re all just friends so I don’t see the big deal or why anyone has to make drama out of this.
Hopefully we can sort this out before Ben’s graduation party. If not, maybe I’ll pull him aside and talk to him at his party either before or after everyone leaves. I don’t want our friendship to end over a stupid argument over nothing.
Jared walks me out to my car again at the end of the day. I scan the parking lot for Ben, but he’s nowhere to be seen. Jared gives me a big hug with a tight squeeze around my mid-section, pulling me fully into his chest and letting his cologne wrap around me.
Maybe I should explore this with Jared. He’s putting in the effort lately, and I’ll admit, I like it. Plus, he’s not bad to look at either. I’ve always noticed how in shape he was but never thought anything of it. He’s not a thicker, muscular build like Ben, but a lean cut, built for running with legs clearly displaying the power contained within them. I mean, the guy’s calf muscles pop out with every step he takes.
He holds me for a second longer than he needs to, continuing to smile down at me. I return one back, getting in my car and he shuts the door for me like a gentleman.
“See you tomorrow, Charlotte.”
Rolling down my window, I reply, “Yeah, for sure. Isn’t it nuts? That this is all over? That we’ll officially be done with high school?”
He leans over the open window, folding his arms and resting his chin on them in a relaxed manner.
“It really is. This last year was way more stressful compared to the previous three. Too bad everything is ending right when it was getting good.”
