Crap. Until now.
Doing what I can to stop my mind before it can jump over a ledge into a pool of overthinking, I snuggle in nude under my covers, enjoying the coolness of the silk on my skin. Clothes feel too constricting tonight, as if my mental state’s suffocating me physically as well. I’ll have plenty of time to deal with the Shirley debacle before Jared’s graduation party tomorrow. Future Charlotte can handle it. I hope.
I lay my phone on the other side of the bed next to me and bury my face in the pillow.
It hadn’t even been five minutes when a low light and vibration from my phone wakes me up.
Adrenaline energizes me, shooting me up as I stare at the screen, excitement rolling through me. It’s Ben. My breath uneven, I typeback hesitantly.
I look around in confusion.
In disbelief, my mouth drops as a soft knocking sounds on my bedroom door. No way is he here. My parents are lax with the rules here but notthatrelaxed. If they find him here this late, we’ll both be screwed.
I bundle up my comforter, quickly wrapping it around my naked body and open the door to see Ben standing in his full motorcycle gear right in front of me. I can’t believe it. He’s never done anything like this before. How’d he get in? I panic, worried that something terrible happened. Why else would he risk getting in trouble?
His honey brown eyes widen at the sight of me, his full lips parting and tongue flicking the roof of his mouth just long enough for me to notice it before his face goes blank. The soles of his motorcycle boots quietly thud on my bedroom floor as he sits his motorcycle helmet on my desk.
Grasping the door handle with one hand and pressing my palm flat on the door with the other, I press the door shut behind him quietly, making sure to not release the tension of the knob until it’s fully settled into the doorjamb to avoid even the sound of a click. My shoulders wiggle the comforter up a little more to make sure I’m still fully covered before turning around. When Ido, I find him sitting on the bed looking down, slowly rubbing his thumbs together with his elbows resting on his knees.
I haven’t seen him look this solemn…ever. My heart races as I shuffle over to the desk chair, being careful not to trip over my comforter and almost flash him like what happened with my father.
He takes a deep breath, then with a noticeable effort, raises his head. Pieces of his un-gelled hair fall over, staying just out of his eyes. I want to comfort him and sit next to him, but I don’t feel comfortable being naked and all underneath my blanket, so I stay where I am.
“What’s going on? Are you okay? Did something happen?”
We lock eyes as I search his for an answer…any answer to tell me the cause for this late-night surprise visit. He silently studies me, slowly moving his gaze down to my bare collarbone and then at my hand grasping the comforter to my chest.
“Why aren’t you sitting next to me?”
“Oh, I uh, want to,butI currently don’t have any clothes on under my blanket, sooo…,” I reply slowly, carefully.
His eyes perk up. “I can step out of the room if you want so you can get dressed. I want you sitting here on the bed with me.”
That wouldn’t work. If my parents come out of their bedroom and see him standing in the hallway outside of my door, that could beverybad. Let alone make the situation even more awkward with my father and possibly cause an irreparable rift. I can’t imagine what my mother’s reaction would be, but I don’t think she’d care, honestly. She trusts me wholeheartedly. Dad though, he’s very protective of my innocence as he’s proven constantly lately.
“No, that won’t work. I don’t want you to get caught and you absolutely will be if you’re standing outside my bedroom door. Just go to my closet and face the clothes. I’ll grab something from my dresser.”
He nods, the corner of his lip twitching up, and walks to the closet, facing the other way.
“If you peek, I’ll slap you so hard it’ll make you scream and then I won’t care if you get in trouble.”
He whispers out a chuckle, “Got it, boss.”
I clutch my comforter tightly and waddle to the dresser, dropping it only inches to fit my shirt on and a pair of shorts. Not wanting to mess with the bra, I re-cover myself with the comforter to hide the fact that I wasn’t wearing one and sit on the bed.
“Done. You can turn around now.”
He obeys, his black T-shirt catching right above his pant line from the movement, showing the tiniestamount of olive skin. That inch betrays him, revealing the dip in his V-cut diving into his midriff. He chuckles at me again and knowing that he caught me staring, I blush sheepishly. There’s something electric between us, something newly born making me avert my gaze as I feel the bed sag where he sits next to me.
“I’ve missed you a lot this week, Char. I’m sorry we fought on the phone the other night. I was having a bad day, and I took it out on you. I wanted to approach you all week, but you seemed like you had other things going on…” he trails off slowly, carefully laying out his implication.
“No? I was waiting for you to apologize for swearing at me and treating me like a disobedient child.”
Facing me, he throws one bent leg on the bed while the other stays on the floor, a position signaling he’s willing to be vulnerable with me. He’s apologizing and he’s here now. I shouldn’t be so mean.
“I’m sorry, Ben. I just…” I try to find the right words to say, but he beats me to it.
“Dating Tree wasn’t something that was supposed to last. It was all infatuation because she gave me what my body wanted, and I risked losing you for it. I’m so, so sorry, Char. I was stupid and immature, and I should have never let it get that far,” he blurts out, brows cleaving together.
