Yet, as I turn to walk out my bedroom door, my body once again does something of its’ own accord, conspiring against me.
I quietly shut the door for privacy instead of going downstairs, wander over to my bed and lay down on my stomach, resting on my elbows with my feet hanging off the edge. I flip the phone over to reveal one unread text from Benny Boy.
My heartbeat picks up like the gun just sounded at the start of a race. Breathless, I tap his text.
Sharp pin pricks gather under my skin and spread throughout every inch of me. Good God, did they turn the heat on? What is this feeling? Jealousy? Embarrassment? Maybe it’s both.
Seeing him confirm they still hook up even after being broken up sets a heaviness in my chest that anchors down into my stomach. I didn’t realize he did that sort of thing.
I always viewed him as more of the innocent type. I mean, I heard he had sex, but that was from rumors around school and gossip in the girl’s locker room. Hearing it from him directly made it more real, more devastating. I don’t know how to feel about it. How do I even respond to him now?
A knock pulls me from my racing thoughts.
“Charlotte, you here?” Mom says softly, sticking her head in through the small crack she made in the doorframe. “I see we got some more mail. Any luck?”
I place my phone face down, covering it with a blanket to hide the embarrassing conversation. Not like my parents ever go through my phone, but still… I don’t want her accidentally seeing it and asking uncomfortable questions.
With the phone safely hidden, I shoot up and grab the papers, holding them up to show her with a wide grin on my face. Without saying anything, she rushes over and embraces me in a comforting, tight hug.
“I knew it was only a matter of time, honey. I’m so proud of you.”
I bury my face in her hair, my nerves and adrenaline relaxing instantly from breathing in the smell of her lavender shampoo. Man, I needed this hug. She always holds the longest, never letting go first.
When I finally let go and lean back, an expression of pure joy is on her face.
“Thanks, Momma. It’s been tough lately but hearing I finally got in somewhere is going to pull me out of this slump. I just know it.”
Her warm palm lingers on my cheek as she takes me in, analyzing me. I stare back into her glasslike blue eyes, wondering what she’s searching for. They water like she’s about to cry so I graze my thumb under them to wipe away any wetness that may fall.
“Oh, look at me being a big baby,” she sniffles, standing up straight and pulling herself together. “Do you want to come downstairs and tell your father? You know he’s going to make a huge fuss about it.” She winks.
I nod; beaming as I follow her down the stairs. We run into him halfway, giving me the opportunity to dramatically whip the papers out from behind my back to hold them in front of my face, waggling my eyebrows for extra effect. His eyes widen right before he throws his fist up in celebration.
“You did it! I knew there was a school out there for you who would see how incredible you are! Woohoo!”
He grabs the papers and throws them in the air, letting them fall like money while taking hold of my hands at the same time, making me jump up and down with him. I’msoincredibly happy. This moment feels like the last scene in a movie before it cuts to credits.
“How do you want to celebrate, honey? Ice Cream? Pizza? Whatever you want for food tonight, you got it.Andit’s a Friday, so you know what that means? I get to kick your butt in some games.” He places his fists on his hips, confidently standing in a superman pose, gazing off into the distance.
My lips are going to rip at the seams if I smile any wider. Relief washes the doubt away, calming every wired nerve in validation that I’m not a failure. I’m going to have an opportunity to better myself and get the kind of education I want. I haven’t felt this relaxed or excited in months. God, it feels good.
“Let’s order in Greek from Dolph’s, pick up ice cream from Rosco’s Gas Station and play card games!”
“You got it!” he says, checking the time on his watch. “Let’s order the grub and get this party started!”
He rotates his hips in a circle, fists still on his waist with his tongue out and eyes crossed, earning loud laughs from Mom and me.
My phone and conversation with Ben now laying forgotten in the back of my mind, I follow my parents down the rest of the stairs to enjoy our night of celebration.
The muscles in my abs and cheeks hurt from laughing so much over the next few hours. We stuffed ourselves full of gyros before walking off what we could on our way to Rosco’s to grab three pints of my favorite flavor of ice cream, Chocolate Oreo.
We dug into the ice cream, finishing a pint each, back at home while playing cards the rest of the night. It wasn’t until midnight that my parents called it quits, giving me hugs and kisses and trudging off to bed mumbling about their old bones needing rest after such a rowdy night.
I sit at the kitchen table, now alone, listening to the crickets chirping through the open bay view window, enjoying the slight breeze and crisp smell of the rain from earlier. My eyes close, completely immersing myself in the peaceful melody floating in from outside. Echoes of laughter from the evening mix in, making me feel content and light as a feather. Smiling, I open my eyes, letting them land right on the dishes from the night's meals still sitting in the sink, yet to be cleaned.
Another thing I love about my family? We don’t fuss about the messes. Sure, we keep our house clean, but we prioritize the moments that really matter, like spending time together, and save the things like dishes and chores until the next day so the night has no stress attached to it.
I put my arms up and stretch while kicking my legs out to relieve their muscle pain as well.
