“Yeah, I’m very excited about it. I’ve been taking college classes after school and on the weekends to learn more about coding and computer software and to get a jump start on school, so I don’t have to attend the full four years.”
Damn, he’s so smart. He’s handsome, intelligent, motivated… Why has he stuck with me all these years? Why does he seem to want me now? I’m not at all on his level.
“What are you going to do, Char?” He squeezes my hand, encouraging me to speak now.
“Well, I didn’t get into any forensics programs. So instead, I’m going to major in chemistry at Charle’s sincethey don’t have a specific program for forensics. Hopefully I can find an internship in my third year or so, to get some experience. After that? I have no idea. I’ve thought about working in a forensics lab, but I’m not set in stone on my dreams like you seem to be. Luckily graduation’s four years away so I have time to figure it out.”
“You need to stop being so hard on yourself.”
I look over to see him staring at me, his expression unreadable.
“You’re smart, funny, and beautiful, and you’ll do great at whatever you set out to achieve. College admissions are a sham. They want the gems in every pack but not every single person can be a rare gem. If I didn’t have to go to college, I wouldn’t. The idea of going through more school kills me. I don’t want to be in debt from it, and I don’t want to have to listen to these professors judge my intelligence based off the ‘normal’ guidelines. It’s a ridiculous, mandated waste of time.”
His attention fixes back on the sky, his brows furrowing in annoyance, and his teeth chewing on the inside of his cheek.
“For someone who wants to work for the man, you sure do seem to hate the man.”
He laughs so hard, so full of life. “This is why I’m glad I have you around. You lighten the mood when I need it. Sometimes I get too serious. I need someone who can ground me and bring me back to the fun in life.”
“Me? Fun? You know I’m a homebody who barely does anything. I’m not special or fun at all.”
He rolls on his side, facing me. “Come here, you.”
His hand glides to my lower back and pulls me into him, our hips and legs pressing against each other now. I avoid his gaze even though I can feel it intensely on me. The steam of our breath dances in the air together. We’re so close the tips of our noses are almost touching.
“I’ve thought about this for so long,” he whispers.
Shivers radiate down my spine and I have a feeling it has nothing to do with the chill in the night air.
“Thought about what?” I whisper back breathlessly, the tension between us about to snap explosively.
“Holding you… kissing you… being with you…”
I can’t catch my breath. I can’t speak. The tension between us is too great—the want, the need overwhelms me. I look in one eye, then the other and finally to his lips.
“I love it when you look at me like that,” he whispers onto my lips. “Can I kiss you?” he whispers so quietly it’s barely audible.
“Yes,” I say panting, begging him silently.
He kisses me, soft at first and then more passionately. I open my eyes to catch an almost pained expression on his face, his eyebrows drawn together as if in concentration. I pull back.
“You okay?”
“Hm?” he responds out of breath, his eyes still closed.
“You look like you’re in pain when we’re kissing…”
He opens his eyes. “I’m just trying to hold myself back and go at your pace.”
“You have to hold yourself back?”
“If last night hadn’t happened and if I knew that this wasn’t your first time being with a guy then I would’ve already started having my way with you. It’s taking everything in me not to rip every single piece of clothing off you, spread your legs and be inside you.”
I can’t breathe and by the sounds of it, neither can he. I’m beyond happy he wants me this badly. I want him too. God, do I want to fulfill this sexual tension more than anything, but I’m not sure how my body and mental state will handle it. My emotions keep hitting me out of nowhere and I don’t want to ruin this moment.
“I… I don’t know how to do anything.”
His confident smile puts me at ease.
