ChapterFifteen.
It was hands-down the best night of my life. I keep fearing it’ll disappear, that it isn’t real.
I thought I knew Ben, but last night showed me I only knew a fraction of the man he is. I can’t believe he chose me, that he’s wanted me, let alone, wanted me for so long and was patient enough to wait to pursue me until he felt we’d be ready for each other.
He walks me to my car around four in the morning. I want to stay there with him all night, but he’s right, my parents will kill me if I don’t come home now, especially if I tell them I was with a boy all hours of the night.
He opens my car door, gives me a kiss and helps me in. I almost cry. It doesn’t feel right to leave him. I feel so close to him that without being right next to him, loneliness consumes me. The magnetism between us is something I’ve only read about in stories.
I love him. I know it and I’m not going to fight that feeling. I love him, and I want to be with him always.
The love I’ve always had for him as friends blossoms into a deeper one after last night. From the intimate physical moments to the intimate emotional moments. I feel seen, my soul bared naked before him which he accepts fully and reciprocates.
I force myself to look forward as I drive away, afraid that if I look back, I’ll stop and run back to him, begging him to let me stay.
My knuckles turn white from gripping the steering wheel with all the strength I have.
Get a grip.
I need to be an adult about this and not be crazy. I’m probably overdoing it if I can’t stand to be away from him at all. That can’t be normal, can it?
I certainly can’t tell him I love him this early. Not until he tells me he reciprocates my love. What if he doesn’t feel the same way? I worry that after everything he showed and told me last night that it’s just a phase.
I pull in at home and have no idea how I got there. Sleep finally comes knocking on the door of my mind, my eyelids barely staying open as I open the front door and stumble up the stairs. I succumb to it, laying down on my bed fully clothed and pass out.
My eyelids are so heavy I can barely open them. Where am I?
God, it’s so hot in here. My clothes are soaked.
I rub my eyelids, forcing them open. My vision, blurry at first, slowly clears until my room comes into view.
That’s right. I’m home.
I turn over, my jeans rubbing harshly on my sticky skin. No wonder I’m sweating like crazy. I forgot I’m still in my sweatshirt and jeans.
Ugh, I don’t want to move to take my sweatshirt off, but I have to or else I won’t be able to go back to sleep. I sit up and struggle to pull it off before laying back down, hitting my head on my phone.
“Ouch.”
I must’ve been holding it when I passed out. I turn it over to check thetime and see a text from my man. Elation at his text instantly wakes me up. I click on the message sent two hours ago at ten in the morning.
“Eeek!” I fall back, kicking my legs in giddy fashion.
I miss him too. I’m so glad last night wasn’t a fluke. I’m so happy and surprised he texted me already to hangout again. I roll over and instantly text back.
My phone dings right away.
I smile down at my phone, so unbelievably happy, I don’t know how to hold it all in.
“Eeeekkkk!” I hop around my room and dance a nerdy jig, my hips and arms uncoordinatedly swinging side to side. How is the word baby when used as a pet name such a damn turn on? I can’t hide my joy when he calls me that. Every time he uses it, I fall harder for him.
Shrugging, I dart to the shower so I can get to his place as quickly as possible. I can’t stop thinking aboutBen, can’t stop smiling, can’t stop wondering what we’re going to do tonight.
The memory of his fingers inside me and the tip of his length keeps getting me so hot that I have to masturbate in the shower just to curb it until I can get to him.
I throw on a deep red dress, one that I haven’t ever worn to school, curl my hair and make my way down to the kitchen to get something to eat. Mom and Dad sit at the kitchen table, writing and chatting with each other, but go silent as I enter the room.
“You were out late,” Dad says, perturbed, biting the inside of his cheek.
