“Shielded me from what!” My ribs, back and chest burn from my cries, but I don’t know what else to do with this mental and physical anguish, but scream. This can’t be real.
“A car ran a red light and hit you.”
“What the fuck? There was barely anyone on the road. Where did they even come from? I swear, I’m going to make that person pay. Did they catch them? Are they in custody? I can’t believe someone would be that ignorant.” I pause for a moment, trying to make sense of the situation we’re in and calm down before I start hyperventilating. “Take me to Ben, mom. I need to see him,” I plead.
“Youcannotmove yet. I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to wait. You have to focus onyourhealing right now.”
“Absolutely not,” I declare as the tears streaming down my cheeks continue down my neck. I can’t stand this feeling of him not being here with me. This feeling of him being in so much pain and not being able to be at his side. It’s torture. Like a part of my soul is dying and there’s nothing I can do to help.
“Then have someone roll me in there! I don’t fucking care how you do it! Let me see him!” I’m making a scene, but I don’t care. They’re going to let me see him one way or another.
“Charlotte, listen to me,” her voice shakes as she pleads for me to hear her out.
“What!” I snap, barely paying attention to her as I try to come up with a way to get to him.
“Your father is… missing.”
“Huh? What do you mean missing?” I stop what I’m doing and look at her in confusion before glancing around the room and see that he’s not here.
Rubbing her wrists together in anxiousness, she takes a deep breath and stares at the ceiling.
“He hasn’t been seen since yesterday evening. We were about to go to dinner when he just up and left without saying anything. I was in the bathroom and heard the car start up but when I called him to ask him what he was doing he ignored it. I haven’t been able to get ahold of him since nor find him anywhere. The police are currently out searching for him.”
“Why?” I ask not wanting to hear the answer even though deep-down my gut already knows the truth.
“Charlotte, your father is the person who hit you.”
The final dagger in the chest hits its mark, twisting and turning until it seems to puncture my lungs.
I can’t breathe.
I can’t breathe.
I grasp my chest, unable to get air in as a high-pitched noise fills my ears until it turns to crackles. The room spins as my mother’s worried cries of my name becomedistant, the world growing ever quieter as everything goes black. The only thing able to be seen in the dark is Ben’s beautiful brown eyes looking at me from the depths of my own mind and the only thing I can feel is the thinly mended pieces of my heart finally shattering, turning me numb and cold.
My muscles feel weighed down and groggy, like I just ran a million miles with no break and somehow survived. A heaviness pulls my breath down with it, only allowing shorter inhales and making me feel lightheaded.
“She’s not due for another dose of morphine for six hours. I’m sorry, but we can’t give her anymore,” I hear a mystery woman state.
Oh, a nurse. That’s right…
My nightmare isn’t a dream; it’s my new reality.
With glazed over eyes, I search around the room for my mother. She’s biting her thumbnail, full of nervous energy talking to someone in a police uniform.
“Mom.” I slur out trying to get her attention.
My body feels drunk, and my lips aren’t moving right. This morphine stuff sucks.
“Mom.” I try again as loud as I can even though it still sounds almost like a whisper.
This time she hears me and turns around with tears dripping steadily down her cheeks as she continues to bite her thumbnail.
“Just relax, sweetie.” She strolls over and caringly strokes my arm, but her touch does nothing except repulse me.
As much as I can, I inch my arm away from her. She takes the hint and steps back.
“Take me to Ben.” I groggily demand, finally becoming more aware as I awaken.
