“He gone?” Ronan asks, glaring around the space.
“Yep,” Asher answers for me, his eyes darting my way in concern.
“Good. We’re heading back to campus.” Jude’s tone is laced with anger, and my eyes well with tears again as I take a step towards him. “No.” He holds his hands up, and I stop in my tracks.
“It’s still Easter,” I remind him. “I thought you weren’t going back until tomorrow night?”
“Plans have changed for obvious reasons,” Jude snaps, and my shoulders slump.
I’m losing my boys.
A sob escapes me, and I turn my back on them, feeling embarrassed to be falling apart in front of them.
“Mum,” Jude rasps from behind me, his hand reaching out to turn me back around, and I peer up into his dark eyes, seeing the pain in them.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, and he nods.
“I know, Mum. I know you didn’t keep that secret to hurt us, but you still kept it. We are just gonna need some time.” He leans forward and presses a kiss to my forehead before turning and walking away.
Meanwhile, Ronan doesn’t even offer me that as he walks out, slamming the door behind him.
CHAPTER 26
ASHER
It’s been quiet since the twins left. I’ve sent them a couple of messages to check in with them, and as far as I can tell, they are getting wasted back on campus. I worry that perhaps I should be with them. Keep an eye on them and make sure they don’t get themselves into trouble, but I can’t leave Lily like this. She’s a mess.
She falls into the armchair in the living room and stares into space. I approach her numerous times and ask if I can get her anything, but she gives me the slightest shake of her head and nothing else.
I clean up the lunch, most of which was left uneaten, and do the dishes before cleaning the kitchen. When that’s done, I take a glass of water and put it on the table next to Lily, but she never touches it, and when I heat up leftovers for dinner later on, she leaves that untouched, too.
By nine in the evening, I’ve had enough of watching her wallow, so I scoop her up in my arms and carry her to bed, where she lets me undress her and tuck her in, before sliding in behind her and pulling her back against my chest.
A sob escapes her then, and I squeeze her closer as she starts to cry.
“I f-fucking h-hate h-him.”
“I know,” I rasp, pressing my lips to her silky hair. “He’s a fucking twat for putting you in that position.”
I’ve never wanted to kill someone more than this afternoon when Alex was here. He’s one of those people who blames everyone else and never takes responsibility. One day I’m going to tear his heart from his chest and present it to Lily. For some reason, I think she’d like that.
“Is that the secret you’ve been keeping?” I ask, knowing we’ve been having our own disagreement on the matter. I don’t want to make her feel worse, but if it’s what she’s been so distressed about lately, then at least I can understand.
“No,” she whispers, and her honesty surprises me.
“No?”
She shakes her head.
“Any chance you’re gonna tell me?” I ask and again she shakes her head.
“I’m sorry. I can’t.”
My heart sinks, although at least she’s not lying. She could have said that her worries had to do with Alexander and the daughter he never told his sons about. Instead, she admitted that it wasn’t the reason for her worries.
“Okay,” I whisper, pressing another kiss to her hair. “But just so you know. I’m a good secret keeper, if you ever want to share it.”
She rolls over in my arms to bury her head in the crook of my neck as she cries silently again. Her arms band around me so tightly that it’s like she’s afraid if she lets go, I’ll disappear.
