“Yeah, of course I have time.” Whit falls quiet, presumably as Dan fills him in on his news. I guess Dan must be the adventurous type, given he’s trekking around Thailand. I’m not cut out for living out of a backpack, not that I could put my parents through it, either, I guess. Coming to London is one thing. Jungles and questionable medical facilities would push them right over the edge.
“Well, that’s great, Dan, but I don’t know what to tell you except go with your gut.”
My gut says stop feeding me cake, so I finish my coffee while trying not to listen to Whit’s conversation while he doles out cautious advice that sounds like it might be about his brother’s love life.
“Sorry about that.” He touches my shoulder as he passes.
“No problem. Everything okay?”
“Dan has met a girl.” His smile leaks through his explanation. “He wanted some advice, though why from me is anyone’s guess. He should’ve rung Heather. She’s the only one of us who has a successful relationship.”
“Are you looking for a relationship?” I ask, half hopeful, half horrified.
“Fuck, no.” He laughs unhappily. “I don’t have time. Besides, who’d want to take me on? I’d barely be around.”
“I’m sure lots of women would take that chance.”
“And then regret it,” he replies seriously. “VirTu takes up so much of my life and my headspace, I just don’t have it within me to commit to a relationship.”
“But you have sex.”
He doesn’t reply but for a secretive kind of smile.
“Is it more the case that you don’t want to take on anything else?” As the words leave my mouth, a sudden sense of foreboding washes over me.
“Yeah, I suppose. I have work and I have my family. Sex is more like working out, taking care of myself. It’s not an emotional drain.”
“Drain?”
“Commitment,” he amends. “A relationship is a commitment.”
“So who do you normally have sex with? If you don’t mind me asking?”
“Did I say I didn’t mind?”
“No, but you know you’re going to tell me anyway.” I cheekily slide a piece of pineapple into my mouth as a way to keep myself from talking. I want to crawl into this man’s brain and poke around. Learn all his deliciously dirty secrets and feast on them for a little while.
“You’re talking about that night, aren’t you?”
“And the girl who looked like me. Do you have a type?”
“Yes. Girls who do as they’re told.”
“You lie,” I say with a chuckle, actually feeling a blush move across my skin. My gaze falls to the table again. If we’re just having sex, what’s with the banquet? I paint on a bright smile again, unable to ignore the thoughts beginning to swim through my head. This is what Whit does. He takes care of those he cares for. No matter what he says, this isn’t going to be just sex. He’s going to see me as one of those he needs to take care of.
I won’t let that happen—I refuse to become one of his responsibilities.
“You’ve gone quiet.” My head jerks up at his words. “And not the good kind of quiet. You’re not worried, are you?”
Yes. Very worried. Thanks, fluttering heart, for pointing out what a bad bet I am. He can’t be responsible for me. I won’t let him. “What would I be worried about?”
“We had sex without protection, and now you’re thinking of the women I’ve slept with.”
I shake my head. “I know you wouldn’t put me at risk.” That realization should’ve been my first warning sign. “Do all of your siblings come to you for advice?” I rush on, desperate to change the subject.
“Mainly the younger ones.” His fingers twitch on the napkin. “When Dad died, that side of things just sort of fell to me.”
Along with a million others, I’d guess. “Death leaves such a hole.”
