“We agreed this would be temporary,” she says carefully.
“Yes,” I say, using her serious tone. Those words seem to have been said long ago now, but yes, temporary was—is—the plan.
“You said you’d give me what I want.”
A faintly wicked feeling smile creeps across my mouth. “I did, didn’t I?” As my fingers tighten, she clamps her hands over my wrists.
“The experiences I want,” she qualifies.
“And probably some you don’t realize you want.”
“But it can only be sex, though, right?”
It’s never just sex.The thought rises unbidden, but I push it away. I’ve been fucking women without the entanglement of relationships since my late twenties. It’s worked out okay so far. “That’s what we agreed. Are you having doubts about that?” And if she is, how I’d feel about that prospect feels like quietly pleased.
“Well,” she begins hesitantly, “don’t take this the wrong way, but I want more.” I don’t know about the wrong way but I don’t quite how to take that. I’m even more confused when she adds, “Please don’t look at me like I just murdered your puppy. I’m not asking you to put a ring on it.”
Cock ring?my ridiculous mind supplies now.
“…because that’s not the kind of more I’m looking for.”
“Puppy killing?” Maybe I need electrolytes. My brain is obviously struggling.
“I want different,” she adds a little desperately, “not necessarily more.”
I feel my eyebrows rise because I can do different. Fuck, yes I can.
“But I don’t want monogamy.” Her words seem to startle Mimi as much as they do me.
“You want to fuck other people?” My demand is low and rough. “Was last night…” Too much? Too intense? Not enough? Fuck that, last night was amazing. At one point, she came like that chick fromThe Exorcist, thrashing and cursing. Thankfully, no green goo.
“Last night was amazing. It was…” She licks her lips, and I just about manage not to kiss her again because she’s so fucking gorgeous, but also I don’t think I want to hear what she has to say. “I guess I just don’t have the vocabulary to describe everything it was.”
“What about perfect.”
She smiles. It’s fleeting but sincere, a flash of white teeth and gap and everything.
“Yes, perfect. That about sums it up. But this morning I’ve realized you have so much more going on in your life. You’re married to VirTu, and you have your family. You’re not going to have time to take me dancing, or for coffee, or for a trip to the London Eye.”
“That tourist trap is literally ten minutes’ walk from the office.” A lock of her hair falls forward. She swipes it before I can do it for her.
“You gonna walk me there? Go up with me for a ride.”
I resist the low-hanging fruit in that question. “What are you trying to say, Amelia?” Spit it out. Get to the point.
“I’m not here for long and want to cram about five years of experiences into what little time I have. I want to see the sights, experience all that London has to offer.” I’m about to suggest she books some tours or maybe take a look at TripAdvisor when her next words flay me. “I think I want to date.”
“Fucking Sorrel,” I grate out, my hands falling away.
“No!” she snaps. “What do you take me for?”
“At this minute, I’m not sure I know.”
“I want to go for coffee, mooch around museums. Go to clubs and sit in pubs with a glass of beer with a name I can’t pronounce. I want to hang out. See things. Do… stuff.”
“So go with a friend.”
“I don’t have any.” Her hands rise and fall, slapping her thighs with futility.
