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“With you?” Connor tilted his head back and gave her a raking glance. He looked unnervingly assured. “No way!”
“What do you mean, no way?” For one awful moment she thought he’d seen all the way to her soul. Read her doubts about her mothering abilities. Then she pulled herself together. She would learn. She would ask the caregivers at the day-care center a thousand questions. There was no way she could do a worse job than her own parents. “How will you cope with a baby? You don’t even have a home!” At the blaze of fury in his eyes Victoria wished she’d left the last rash bit unsaid. Heck, she didn’t even know if it was still true. “I mean, your ex took your home.”
“And I bought another,” he said very softly, his eyes glinting dangerously.
So he thought a home could simply be bought?
Something of her skepticism must have shown, because he added, “I have a house with a garden to play ball in and a swimming pool to splash around in—not a shoebox like this.” Connor cast a disparaging look around the small deck, his gaze pointedly resting on the pale-cream couches and white carpets visible through the glass sliders. “At least Dylan will be able to grow up a boy in my home. What kind of life would he have here?”
“I’ll buy a suburban house with a garden,” she said, thinking back to the warmth and love that had filled Suzy’s parents’ home. “I haven’t needed more than this until now.”
She could afford to do it. Her savings were in a healthy state. Despite the lump sum she’d insisted on giving Suzy to help with the IVF expenses, which had been worth every cent. The outcome had been Dylan.
“And that’ll mean your commute to work will increase.” He gave her that sharklike smile. “Or did you intend to stop working?”
“Of course not!”
She needed to carry on working, otherwise how would she be able to give Dylan everything he deserved? Good day care and private schooling were expensive. And Dylan would get the best. She had no intention of leaving Dylan to the mercy of her own ignorance. And besides, it wasn’t only for Dylan. She loved her job. It gave her a sense of self-worth. And it paid pretty damn well, too. She couldn’t imagine giving up the client base she’d worked so hard to build. Nor would she ever throw away the independence she’d strived all her adult life to secure.
“Don’t try telling me you would give up work if Dylan lived with you,” she challenged, “because I won’t swallow it.”
“But I can take as much time off as I want to spend with Dylan—I’m the boss. And I have a full-time housekeeper. Dylan would be well cared for. It has nothing to do with double standards.” His bleak gaze settled on her. “Unlike you, I can devote as much time to Dylan as he needs.”
The emptiness that lay behind his eyes was the very reason she could never surrender Dylan into his care. He would never be able to convince her he could give Dylan more love than she could. If her parenting skills were in doubt, Connor’s were even more so.
A strong surge of maternal yearning took her by surprise. She swallowed. She would not lose Dylan to the block of rock who stood in front of her.
The baby was hers.
Hers.
And she would fight with everything she possessed, every weapon at her disposal, to make sure Dylan stayed with her. She, at least, was capable of giving him love.
“He’s not leaving here.” She realized her voice had risen.
“Victoria, be sensible—”
“I’m being perfectly sensible.”
He gave a snort. “With the hours you work you don’t have time for a baby. Suzy told me—me and Michael,” he amended as her brows drew together. “She was worried about you. She thought you’d buried yourself alive. All you lived for was building a practice that would lead to more status.”
“Buried myself alive?” The idea that Suzy had discussed her with Connor hurt. “What about you? You started a new company—and not just any company, the Phoenix Corporation is a huge venture.”
“Yes, but I employ a large staff, I delegate—I don’t do everything myself. I still found time to visit Michael and Suzy—”
“You pig!” Victoria couldn’t believe she’d heard right. “How can you say that? You cruel—”
“Oh, God, I’m sorry, Victoria.” His chair crashed backward and he came toward her, his hands outstretched. “I didn’t mean it that—”
She slapped his hands away. “You meant it exactly that way.” Her fingers stung. She stared down at her reddening palms. The tears she’d stanched so fiercely for the past two days leaked out.
