“What are you doing here?” I ask, barely able to breathe.
He spins me around to face him, looking about as horrible as I feel. His wavy hair is a wild mess, there’s three days’ worth of stubble on his face and bags under his eyes.
“I needed to see you.”
“How’d you get in here?” I look around.
“I have my ways, but that’s not important. I’m sorry.”
“What?” If he wasn’t holding me up, I’d fall over. “Sorry for what?” I ask bemused.
“Being an irrational, dickwad prick.”
What?!I think I just went into shock.I’m the one who hurthimand he’s apologizing tome.
“I’m the one who should be apologizing,” I argue, repentantly. “I’m so sorry. I’msofucking sorry.” I can barely contain the barrage of emotion.
“I think you’ve apologized several times already.” He skims the pad of his thumb across my cheek. I lean into his touch, allowing it to heal me.
“Say you’ll forgive me,” he presses.
“There isn’t anything to forgive. It was my fault. I’m the one who lied. The one who betrayed you.” My voice cracks.
“We can move past it,” he challenges quickly.
I’m flabbergasted at what I’m hearing. I want more than anything to get past it. Especially if that means I can be with him. But I only shake my head mournfully. “There’s no getting past it. They own me.”
“No, they don’t.” He traps my face in his hands. “I can help you.”
“No one can help me.”
“I can.” He kisses me so earnestly it causes my tears to fall harder. I’ve hurt CJ enough. I don’t want to drag him down any further. I break the kiss by turning my head and subsequently breaking my heart.
“You can’t help me. So please, just let me go.”
“I will never let you go,” he replies vehemently, still clutching my face.
I’m so tired of fighting that I almost give in. I almost melt into his body and beg him to save me, but I hear Philly’s voice echoing outside the stockroom. It snaps me out of my haze, making me realize all CJ and I ever had was a dream. A sweet, transient fantasy.
“Tara?” Philly calls.
“Go.” I push him away gently. “Just go.”
“Tara, no.” He protests forcefully.
“Please.” I implore, emphatically. We can’t do this, it has to end.
“This isn’t over.” He reluctantly gives in and steps aside.
Gravely, I know he’s right. This isn’t over. It’s just beginning.
I WORK THE REST OFthe night with CJ’s words lingering in the back of my mind.
“I will never let you go.”
I can hardly believe, after everything, he’s willing to forgive me. Willing to try and move past it. I touch my lips, still feeling his kiss burning against them. That impassioned, sincere embrace that held so much promise.
I don’t deserve him one bit.
