I’m counting down the minutes I will be out of this place and back with him. I really can’t afford to be this distracted, but I just can’t help it. The last three weeks have been a volatile teen drama with a surprise twist ending. I’m still debating if it’s happy or not.
Sebastian takes a hard left, as he usually does, going off on a heated tangent on ethical business tactics. I listen with one ear open, darkly wondering how unethical it is to sleep with your stepbrother. Your hot, rough, rugged, panty-ripping — I take my own hard left, fantasizing about Ky again, when Sebastian shatters my dirty daydream.
“Kira, do you have anything to add here?”
I don’t have any idea what he was going on about, so I just shake my head and pass on joining the conversation.
“Are you all right, Kira?” Evie nudges me once Sebastian calms down. She’s an international student from the UK with the cutest English accent. “You seem a little off today.”
“I’m fine,” I assure her. “It’s just been a long week.”
“Oh, I hear that. I am so ready for a break.” She chomps on a piece of her customary KitKat bar. I don’t think we’ve had one study session where she didn’t have the chocolatey safety net.
“One more week.” I smile.
“Cheers to that.”
We continue to review the study guide, each of us taking a section to outline, but I barely see the words. All I can think about is Ky and relive the way he made me feel last night. And this morning, and in the pool during naked brunch.
A little bit of regret niggles at me, though. I opened up too much today. Showed too much of myself. I try not to get overly sensitive about my past. Usually the emotions are compartmentalized in a tiny box, buried deep beneath my subconscious. It’s how I’ve been able to move on, but there are things about myself I don’t discuss with anyone besides my mom or my therapist. But today, with Ky, I almost shared one of my darkest secrets, the largest skeleton in my closet. During a moment of complete transparency, I wanted to tell him everything. I wanted him to understand. Understand what my mother went through. What we both went through. Understand how much happiness Gerard has brought into our lives. I shared just enough before he stopped me dead in my tracks, and maybe that’s best for everyone. I don’t exactly know where this is headed. My educated guess? Nowhere. I foresee a fun time, a good fuck, and then a farewell. I’m sticking to the original plan. Heading to Paris after my last exam. I’m not going to make this any more complicated than it has to be. I’m not going to hold him to anything. I like Ky, when he’s not acting like a total adolescent dick, but catching feelings seems like a gamble. A broken pair of deuces. Gerard would tell me to fold.
The end of study group feels like a relief. Like a weight has finally been lifted off my chest.
I pack up my stuff, ready to bolt for the door.
“Hey, Kira, wait up,” Sebastian calls after me.
I slow my pace through the hallway. Begrudgingly.
“Good group today.” He pushes his eyeglasses up his nose.
“It always is. You run it like a Nazi.” I smile.
“I just want everyone to succeed.”
“I know. I’ve never been more confident to take a test before.”
“Good.” He grins. “Have you given any more thought to my question?”
I pause just as we get outside. Standing at the top of the building’s stairs, I turn to face him. He isn’t bad looking or a jerk. He’s just not my type.
“Sebastian, I’m flattered that you want to take me out. I just don’t think it’s a good idea.” He’s asked me out in some way, shape, or form since the beginning of the semester. For coffee, to study, a game of tennis, a movie, and just this last time to dinner. I have let him down nicely for each and every attempt.
“Why? Because I’m not some rich, movie-star type from Hollywood?” he accuses.
I’m caught off guard. “No, not at all.”
Then my attention is pulled away from him by the deafening sound of a revved engine. A Harley Davidson engine, with a mean-looking motherfucker sitting atop a leather seat. “I gotta go. My ride's here.” Saved by the biker.
I run down the steps to where Ky is waiting.
“That guy bothering you, Snow?” he asks as he hands me my helmet.
“No.” I glance up at Sebastian who is sourly watching me with Ky. “Just a guy who doesn’t like to hear the word no.”
Ky peers up at Sebastian through his dark sunglasses, hostility radiating off him like the midday desert sun.
I hop on the back of the bike and slide my arms around Ky. The connection seems to break him out of his unfavorable fog.
