“He’s so out of it he probably doesn’t even know what cold is.” Gerard pulls the curtain back, concealing us, and circles around the bed. I yank the blanket up a little farther, just wanting to make him feel as comfortable as possible. Wanting to do anything that will make him feel better.
Gerard takes Ky’s hand, and the gentle gesture nearly brings tears to my eyes.
Seeing Ky lying here is excruciating for me, but I can’t imagine the depths of pain it’s causing Gerard to see his son this way.
“I still remember the day Ky got that scar. He was such a scrawny little shit,” Gerard reminisces. “He hated being so small. Wanted to be tough, just like his dad. I remember sitting in the emergency room, terrified he was going to lose his eye. There was so much blood; the wound was so deep. And here was this little guy who couldn’t put an ounce of weight on him if he tried, being so brave, not a lick like his father. ‘Dad, do you think I’ll have a scar?’ ‘It’ll look so cool’ ‘Can my nickname be Scar?’” Gerard laughs darkly. “I told him Slash sounded cooler. I was such an enabler, but I hated seeing him in that bed. It killed me. But he was a fighter. Just like his old man. More than his old man. His heart was so big for that little body. And now, here we are again.” Gerard gazes at Ky.
“And he’s going to be fine. Just like before.” I make my way around the bed to hug Gerard. I hate seeing him in so much pain. I hate seeing them both in pain.
“Next to Ky, you and your mom are the most important people on Earth to me. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost any of you.” He holds me tightly.
“Well, hopefully, you won’t have to worry about losing any of us for a long time. And now you and Ky can make up for the time you’ve lost.”
“I’m hoping beyond all hope, Little Darlin’.”
“It’ll happen if I have anything to say about it.”
“Got him wrapped around your little finger, huh? Just like his old man?”
“Maybe.”
“Definitely. The way he fought for you. He wouldn’t leave your side. For a second, a terrifying second, I thought if you lost your life, he was going to give up his, too.”
That revelation shocks me. I stare down at Ky. Pissed at his stupidity and maybe a little more in love with him for it, too.
Ky whimpers, trying to shift his body on the bed.
“Hey.” I rush to his side. “Don’t try to move too much.” He flutters his eyelashes, attempting to open his eyes. Once he does, his attention seems far away. “How are you feeling?”
“Like I got fucking shot,” he complains.
“You did get shot, numb nuts.”
“Hey, Dad.” Ky closes his eyes again and breathes deeply. He seems to drift back off, but he surprises me by startling awake. “Kira?”
“I’m right here.” I touch his face.
“Are you okay?” He suddenly seems to be mentally alert.
“I’m traumatized, exhausted, and in shock, but I am trying to keep it together,” I answer honestly. “I also may never go back into the water again.”
Ky frowns at that admission. “Kira—”
“Ky, don’t.” If we open that flood gate of emotion, the entire hospital will get washed away. If there is one thing I’ve learned how to do, and do well, it’s compartmentalize. I’m a teetering fishbowl of frazzled nerves at the moment, and soon I will tip. I just need to hold it together long enough to know everyone I love is okay.
“We’ll fix it,” he promises. “We’ll fix all of it.”
“I know we will.” I try to smile, but it’s becoming increasingly harder to suppress the stress. I’m falling back into that blank space where the line between reality and delusion blurs. Where anxiety takes over and holds my life hostage. And now, the place that is supposed to help me escape, help me heal, terrifies me. It’s associated with chaos instead of calm. It’s been transformed, leaving me in the middle of nowhere. Alone, but not scared, protected but still confused, even with all the answers laid out right there before me. “Rest.” I kiss him on the forehead, the cheek, the lips, finding immense relief that we’re both alive.
We’re together, we’re safe, and though tears have fallen, strength did rise.
Epilogue - Gerard
Gerard
I spyon my wife as she watches Ky and Kira from the kitchen. She is the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on, and somehow, some way, by the grace of God, she’s mine.
“Penny for your thoughts, Darlin’.”
