She’s Houston, and I definitely have the problem.
I push myself off her and lean back on the table, the green felt scratchy instead of soft under my fingertips.
I will give it to Vanessa, she brings her A game on a mission to get me hard. But my subconscious is just not having it. Every time I close my eyes and try to let go, my body tenses harder, knowing it’s not Liv on her knees. Knowing it’s not Liv, period.
I let it go on longer than I should, hoping for some kind of divine intervention. A kick start for a beat-up engine.
But it doesn’t work. Nothing happens.
“Fuck, Vanessa.” I finally put a stop to it, all of it. Groaning infuriatedly as I rake my hands down my face.
She stands with a perplexed look as I work quickly to fix myself.
The two of us just sit there in silence, an awkwardness I’ve never experienced descending upon me.
“So, who is she?” Vanessa breaks the ice while Fender’s voice penetrates the walls with the words to “Save Me” by Remy Zero. It’s one of his all-time favorites.
I balk. “What are you talking about?”
“There’s usually only two reasons a man has an issue performing. One. He’s impotent. And you are definitely not that. Or two. He’s in love.”
“Pfft, love.”
“Mmm-hmm. That’s what I thought.”
“Ridiculous.” My pride won’t let me admit she’s right. Not out loud, anyway. But she is right. I am in love. Truly, madly, deeply in love and don’t know what the fuck to do about it.
“Don’t wait. Go get her.” Vanessa nudges me with her elbow, as if reading my mind.
“I think I really fucked up this time,” I reluctantly admit. Shit, there it is, my underlying problem. The core root of my stupidity. No, I don't want to let Liv go, I just don't have a shot in hell of getting her back.
“Does she love you?”
“I know she does.”
“Then fight for her. Bring her something personal. Something only the two of you would know about.” Vanessa gets to her feet. “I gotta get back to work.”
“Hey.” I grab her hand before she goes. “Thanks. And sorry.”
“Don’t be. I just hope I find someone to fight for me one day.”
“You will. I have no doubt.”
She smiles sweetly. Then kisses me on the nose.
I stay behind, thinking about what she said. Something personal to break the ice. I rack my brain. There could be so many things. But then I remember.
I leave the room on a mission.
I grab Hawk and tear him out of the bar. “Hey, man, what the fuck are you doin’? I was kind of in the middle of something.”
“I need you to drive me somewhere.”
“I’m your chauffeur now?”
“Tonight, yes.”
* * *
