“No, Damon, we’re not.” She pushes away.
“Why?” I hold on tightly to her arm so she can’t go far.
Liv stares into my eyes. They’re so bright and beautiful. The ring of brown around her pupil popping against the green of her irises from the sunlight.
“Because we aren’t.”
“That’s a lame excuse. At least if you are going to reject me, give me a concrete reason.”
She tenses her jaw as she looks at me. “You want an honest answer?”
“Yes, I do.”
“Fine. I think the only reason you want me is because I’m shiny and new. But once the novelty wears off, you’ll toss me aside. And then where will I be? By myself and brokenhearted. I can’t let you do that to me again.”
I feel like I was just verbally bitch-slapped. “Liv, that was ten years ago. I’m a different person now.”
“Are you really?”
“Yes,” I assert. But am I really? For years, I’ve cycled through women like loads of laundry. But I’ve never wanted to be with just one like I do with Liv. I never saw a life or a future together like I do with Liv. I’m a different person because one night with her changed me. Changed everything. Made me realize all my days get better when I spend them with her.
Liv does not look convinced.
“I know what being involved with a biker entails. I saw my father, and your father, and all the other guys chew through relationships. I saw what those women went through. What my sisters went through and my mom. We already tried it once. And it didn’t last more than an hour. I just can’t do it. Not again.”
I feel sick to my stomach listening to her tell me she has no trust in me, when I’m the one who would protect her with my life. Who would do anything in my power to keep her safe and make her happy.
“Liv,” I begin to argue.
“Damon, don’t,” she cuts me right off. I don’t even get to appeal my side. “My mind’s made up. Please don’t make it harder than it has to be.” She climbs out of bed and I grab for her hand.
“It doesn’t have to be hard. It can be easy. All you have to do is give in to it.”
“I can’t.”
“I’ll convince you. I’m not my father, or your father. I’m my own person.” I squeeze her hand firmly, resolutely.
“Your reputation precedes you, Damon. This isn’t a good idea.Wearen’t a good idea.” Liv wriggles her hand out of mine and retreats into the bathroom.
Fucker. I really managed to mangle that one.
I wish I could dispute Liv. Tell her what she’s heard is all bullshit, but it’s not. It’s all true, so I don’t have a leg to stand on. On paper, she’s right, we probably aren’t a good idea. My track record with women sucks, and she deserves the world and more. I have nothing except for my family. My extended family. A motley crew of characters who help me keep my shit together. But I think with Liv in my life, I’d have a better reason to keep my shit together other than just keeping my head above water. She would make living worthwhile. It’s funny — you don’t realize something is missing until that something magically appears in your life and alters it completely. One night with Liv transformed everything. My outlook, my desires, the entire direction I was headed in.
I don’t know how I’m going to convince her we belong together,but I will.
I hear the toilet flush and sink water running as I sit on Liv’s bed.
I know I should leave, but can’t bring myself to go.
On the nightstand is an envelope with her name on it. It’s just sitting there, a bit wrinkled and creased. I pick it up and realize it’s still sealed. The handwriting on the front looks familiar.
“Please don’t open that.” Liv rips the letter from my hand. I get my first good look at her and realize she’s only dressed in an off-the-shoulder T-shirt and underwear. My balls ache from just the sight.
“I wasn’t going to. I recognized the handwriting.”
“Yeah.” She sits down next to me and sighs. “The lawyer gave it to me. It’s his last words.”
“You haven’t opened it,” I observe.
