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I laid them on the bed. Those horrible post-sex thoughts flooded my addled brain. A Sunday of fucking. Well, almost a day, and not my usual activity. Lounging on my butt was what I typically did, or maybe a bike ride when the weather turned good. I couldn’t shake off the feeling in my gut that sex had been his intention—his only intention. If I stayed, would he want me again? How many times could a man keep going before his cock expired entirely? Stefan had an insatiable lust and it was rubbing off on me.
The shower stopped. I fingered my undies. Slip them on, get dressed and leave. Now, Callie. My heavy limbs refused to move. I didn’t regret my day with Stefan. I simply didn’t know where we were going. What next? I glanced over my shoulder as the door to the en suite slowly opened. Peeking through the gap in the door, he smiled. One of those enticing Stefan smiles that melted me each time.
“You’re awake.”
“Again,” I muttered. I clutched my panties to my belly. “I have to go.”
“Stay. Please. You’re my tonic. Just what I need. You’re the first person to bring harmony into my confused mind.” He opened the door wide and a misty heat haze followed him out of the bathroom. A towel wrapped about his waist, his chest hairs still damp and curly, he inched into the bedroom.
What he needs, his tonic. What about me and what I needed from him? I had discords hammering away in my mind too. I made excuses. What I really had to do was think without his stunningly naked body in close proximity. “I can’t. I’ve got work tomorrow…” I sat on the edge of the bed and fumbled with my knickers.
Stefan crouched and I squished my knees together. “What’s wrong?”
I wanted to be dressed. My nudity put me at a disadvantage, even though he’d only a towel about his waist. “Nothing…” I floundered.
He held out a hand for my panties, and I hesitated. He took them and lifted my feet into each leg hole. “I’m not going to force you to stay.”
“A lot has happened today. I need to think this through.”
“I understand.” He stood up, stepping backward. “I do.”
I slipped the knickers up over my hips and we both dressed without speaking—an awkward quiet with only the sound of rustling clothes.
“How about I make you a sandwich before you go?” he suggested, hand on the doorknob.
“Honestly, I should get going. Thanks,” I added.
He collected my music sheets while I put Nettie back in her case. The metalwork on the joints had gone cold.
What did it mean, all this sudden loss of feeling? I’d deflated into a shrunken violet. Fatigue. It had to be something simple. Yet, I’d slept quite a lot during our tumultuous lovemaking. I picked up my coat, still on the armchair, and slipped it over my shoulders. Stefan fished the car keys out of the cookie jar. Condoms and car keys, all together.
It bothered me that he didn’t seem perturbed by our lack of conversation. We’d fucked, eaten and slept. All very basic stuff, and though he’d called me his little mo
use, he’d not opened up to me at all.
“I’ll take you home, yes?” He stated the intention like a question.
“Yes.” I picked up my stuff. “I think it would be best.”
An air of quiet contemplation shrouded the journey home. Reaching my pokey little house—even more cramped now that I’d spent the day at Stefan’s—I dug out the house keys from my handbag.
“Your number, give me your number,” said Stefan abruptly.
“My mobile?”
He nodded. “I’d like to meet again. Wouldn’t you?”
“You’ll pick me up on Wednesday?”
“Of course.” He fished out a notepad and pencil from the glove box and I scribbled my number down. He tore the sheet out and stuffed it into his jacket pocket.
I opened the car door. “I’ll see you then.”
He grabbed the sleeve of my coat. “Callie, what’s wrong?”
“I’m not sure if I’ve found my confidence yet, you know, with the pieces.” I fussed with the handle of my handbag. Did he understand? I wanted more than sex. I wanted to understand him, find out what made Stefan want to compose, conduct. Dig beneath the surface and unearth the secret side of Stefan. I glanced across at him. Under the streetlight, his face was cast in shadows and barely visible.
“I’m sure we’ll work on that,” he said softly. He slowly turned and his face lit up as he leaned forward, puckering his lips. I responded and kissed him lightly.
