Grim gives me one of his rare wide smiles, the kind he reserves for me. “No one has ever loved anyone as much as I love you.” He leans in and kisses the side of my mouth. I nuzzle my face against him when he starts to pull away.
Now that I can think past the pain, fear is infiltrating my thoughts. “What if I can’t do this?”
“You’re already doing it,” he assures me. I look over and see the numbers on the machine next to me. It tells me the baby’s heartbeat and it’s monitoring my contractions. I can still feel the tightening, but the pain that comes with it is just an echo.
A nurse walks over, her voice unnecessarily loud and chipper. “Ready for me to check you again? It’s been a little bit since you got the meds. They working good?”
I nod on both accounts. At this point, I know the drill when they want to check me—heels near my butt, knees out wide. She gloves up and slides her hand under the blanket. I squirm from her touch, but the sensation is much duller now.
“Oh, oh, oh, you’re just about ready,” she singsongs. “That was fast. Your body relaxed a little and did all the work.” She pulls off the gloves and starts moving around the room, turning on brighter lights and pushing the privacy curtain out of the way. She even drags over a low stool near the end of the bed.
“I’m going to page the on-call doctor.” Then she’s out the door. Two other nurses come in just a few minutes later. One is pushing a tall metal cart that has a tiny little cot about waist high with bright lights above it. There are monitors and buttons all over it, much like the ones next to my bed.
“Stars. I’m about to have a baby?” I fist the sheets and my heart monitor beeps, but everyone ignores it. Gunnar comes over to the side of the bed and takes my hand in his. “What if she’s different?” I widen my eyes, hoping he’ll understand my concerns.
He kisses the side of my head and gives me a lazy shrug with a grin. “So what?”
“But…” I don’t know what else to say because he’s right. Whatever she is, she’s ours, and I will protect her. Worst case scenario, Grim could have us out of here in a second flat, and it’s not like anyone could stop us.
“She’ll be perfect, just like you,” he promises.
The next few minutes pass fast. The doctor comes in, he checks me again to confirm I’m ready, and then they start really preparing the room. The bottom half of the bed is removed and cold, silver stirrups flip up from the side. If I thought it was bright in here before, I was mistaken. You could land an airplane in this joint now.
With the doctor face deep in my cooch and all geared up like he’s Dexter committing a homicide, he looks up at me and tells me to bear down like I’m going to the bathroom the next time I feel a contraction.
Seconds later, I get to try out the tasks. “No, back here.” I jump when his finger goes near my ass.
“Hey!” Calix barks.
The doctor ignores him. “Like you need to poop,” he instructs instead. And this is the moment I get embarrassed. “Try again on the next one,” he says happily.
There’s barely any time between the feeling of pressure, so I push again, this time lower, and the doctor’s response is immediate.
“I see the head, good girl, keep going.”
“Oh, fuck.” I look over just in time to see Gunnar’s eyes roll back in his head as he goes down. I swear the floor shakes when he hits like a mini earthquake.
“The tough ones are always the biggest babies.” The doctor smiles up at me from between my legs while two nurses try to wake up Gunnar. “A few more good pushes like that and we will have a baby.” His bushy dark brows wiggle up and down.
“How many more?” I pant for breath. That was just the first push, and I’m fucking tired of it already.
“As many as it takes.”
I want to weep, but I just tuck my chin down and push every time he orders me to. It’s not a couple pushes—it’s too many to count. I think about giving up once or twice. Gunnar, who’s now seated right next to my head, is telling me how great I’m doing. I want to poke his eyes out.
“I’m going to shove something up your ass and make you push it out if you say that again,” I warn, sweat dripping down my face.
He smartly shuts his mouth and just holds my hand. Calix is near my hip, but I catch him leaning over to look between my legs every once in a while. He looks a little green too. I hope he falls on his dick if he passes out.
“That’s not very nice,” the doctor chastises me. I didn’t even realize I said it out loud. Grim is right behind the doctor, watching his every move. I swear to the stars, at one point, I saw his scythe in his hand, ready to kill the man. “Now this is it. You push hard, and we have a baby.”
“There’s no fuckingwe, I’m the one having a baby. Are you pushing a basketball out of your twat?” I half yell, half growl, and push as hard as I can. The sweet relief is instant, and so is the horror of how weird it feels to literally gush fluids out of your vagina that you have no control over.
“Ah, there she is.” My eyes slit until they’re almost closed and my head drops back. Her tiny little body is in the doctor’s hands. Her puffy lips are a little blue, but then she opens her mouth and lets out a wail.
I cry then, too, racking sobs right along with her. Gunnar kisses my head and rises to follow the nurse who took the baby over to the cart. Calix isn’t far behind. Grim comes to my side and cradles my face in his hands. His eyes are bright, and he murmurs whispered words under his breath against my lips.
I don’t try to understand what he’s saying, I just let him comfort me while the others make sure the baby is okay.
