I’m not as close to Robyn, Quinn, and Rowan as the others are. They’re older, and I think it’s different. They practically raised everyone here. I don’t have the same parental affection, but I do care about them. I care about everyone in Hel’s Carnival, which is not something I expected when I first joined. It felt like a means to an end, rather than a beginning.
Making friends wasn’t easy on Ira, we were all exhausted by a broken system, but here on Haeresis, we have community. Not just the carnies, but other felion as well. I have Roxanne and Sofie, Khalid has Kayoda and Ivan. We’re finally able to have a life beyond survival.
It’s been a tiresome existence: grieving my parents, seeking salvation with my brother, and then working as a performer and now spy. I’m proud to be a part of something bigger than just myself, but deep down, I think I envy those who didn’t have to be responsible at such a young age.
Honestly, I envy anyone who gets to wake whenever they want to, make tea and watch the sunrise with their loved ones. I ache for a softer life, but Hel doesn’t seem to know what soft is.
This planet was not designed with felion or lupion in mind—we came here by way of The Convergence. Thousands of years ago, when the planets crashed together, many of my species’ ancestors reproduced with demons, which is how felion were made. We’re the amalgamation of demons and cat nymphs.
From the stories we were told as children, the cat nymphs lived much more peaceful lives. They were morefrolic through meadowskind of cats and lessstreet fight for scrapskind of cats. But that’s all history. I could spend an entire lifetime studying the past, researching and learning about all the things that made the planet the way it is, but it wouldn’t change a damn thing.
Lives wouldn’t be better, we’d simply have an explanation for why life sucks so bad, and that feels fruitless. I’d rather do what I can and focus all my efforts on improving the now.
Passing through the heavy iron gates, I enter the main section of the carnival. There are couples lined up to ride the Ferris wheel, and a little half-demon holding cotton candy in front of the carousel.
The air around me is sparkling and sweet, like a sugar-coated strawberry after a warm trip to a farmer’s market.
Aida’s wagon sits just thirty-or-so steps ahead of me, and I walk towards it, grateful she’s here right now and not visiting her brother on Earth.
From what I’ve learned, I find Earth to be a strange planet. Gemma and Aida have explained that on Earth, beings from the same species can have completely different cultures. Gemma’s family descended from what are consideredItalians.Something about eating tomato-based dishes and wearing golden horns on their necks. Other humans are different, with completely unique languages and cultures.
Even Aida speaks Arabic, English, and Serpenia. She has customs and preferences inspired by her ancestors. Her heritage. Foods and cultural dances.
Hel just doesn’t work like that. Everything is species-based here. Although I look somewhat human, and my name has similarities to some human names, there’s nothing human about me. Iknow the histories of my demon and cat nymph ancestors, and that’s it. Even the half-demons and hybrids who are part human don’t know about their heritage, and it’s a shame.
History can teach us some things about the past, but there are still fragments lost to time. The citizens of Hel mostly speak English, Latin, Vietnamese, French, and Ombrano, so we know Hel crashed into Earth and Umbra. But where are all the vampires? And how come there are so many satyr and orc hybrids if we didn’t crash into Moonflower or Barac? So much is still left unanswered.
I think the lack of culture on Hel created stagnation, but now there is something unifying some species: mistreatment.
The lupion packs might have different traditions, and the half-demons and hybrids might have separate ancestors and origins, but the mistreatment from the government is what will uniteeveryone.
It makes me wonder if I’m part of the problem, doing Luc’s dirty work. He says he’s going to force his siblings to reform, but I’m not positive that’ll come soon enough.
Reaching the platform, I traipse up the short staircase and knock on the door.
“Come in,” Aida says, and I continue inside.
Just like my brother and myself, Aida has deep tan skin and golden eyes, but the rest of her could not be more different than anyone in the carnival—or even anyone I’ve ever seen before.
She is a serpentine. They are beings with human-like upper halves, but the lower half of a snake. Aida’s tail is long and black, with faint gold flecks scattered throughout. She moves and presents herself like a goddess.
“Come, my child. There are things I must tell you.”
Aida’s presence alone feels like a warm embrace. She isn’t performative or overly excitable, but she also doesn’t come across negatively either. Her attitude and behavior are typically neutral, which I find comforting.
“What ails you?” she asks while patting the seat besideher.
The bench Aida is perched on is plush and soft, and velvet curtains drape the walls, embroidered with different symbols, including stars that seem to flicker a sparkling gold. Shelves line the wooden room, crowded with jars of dried herbs and various trinkets. Bakhoor is burning, and I waft in the warm, woody smell.
“We are trying to find a solution to this problem with the felion and lupion, and we’ve come up with a decent plan, but there’s just one problem.”
“Khalid?”
“Yes. I don’t know how to get him to agree to this, and even if I do, will Reina ever forgive me?”
“Would you forgive her?” she asks, her brows wrinkling in the center.
I shrug, my muscles aching from the stress of everything that’s been weighing me down. “I don’t know. I’d like to say I would, but I think I’d be lying.”
