Xiaoyu
When someone says “don’t bite the hand that feeds you,” you don’t imagine your hands detaching itself from your wrists to scuttle off into a yawning, razor-toothed mouth.
I’m forced to chase after my hands but stop once I get too close to the teeth. It’s just there, chilling, the smallest incisor the size of my head. Its lips are peeled back into a snarl or a smile as it chews my hands obnoxiously.
The loud snapping of bones giving into the bite, the rubbery sound of flesh ripping apart makes me want to tear my ears off. Despite how loud it is, it still can’t drown out the sounds of hunger. It’s not a pang, it’s starvation. A continuous groaning, thrumming that shook even the bones I have left behind.
Even if I close my eyes, I can still see it. Palpable, sticking out like the sorest thumb amidst the walls of slithering green vines. Its teeth drips a black liquid with swirling purple light. It looks almost chromatic in this stark darkness. Air wafts toward me—its breath—and it’s unlike anything I’ve ever smelled before. I almost gasp as I greedily inhale more of it.
I’m growing soft, malleable…wetthe more I gulp it down my lungs.
It groans once more, and right now, I can almost hear words.
My body has a mind of its own as I stick my head closer to the teeth.
“Hello?” I call out into the cavernous mouth. It echoes, my voice bouncing around like a loose ball.
I hear the sound of trembling rocks, twisting roots. It’s almost like it’s trying to speak to me. It seems…almost desperate.
“My name’s Xiaoyu. How about you?” I have no idea what I’m doing. This whole thing had no reason… I am tethered, pulled into this gaping hole.
The void doesn’t talk back, Xiaoyu.
Faintly, I see a swirling light. It glows, shifting from shade to shade until it settles on one. It’s the same color as the thing dripping down its teeth. The scene is hypnotic, calling me like a siren to a sailor.
It’s a mouth. I know exactly what’s happening to me once I step inside.
My heart stumbles a pace, enough time for me to regain enough rationality to back away. My skin prickles like I have a million people watching me. My eyes are wide as I watch it in horror.
Yes, the void doesn’t talk back. What it does though?
It stares back.
I’m ripped awake by the sound of screeching. I whimper as I feel the softness of my bed. Comfort. Too much comfort that I just want to fall back asleep…but I can’t. I know this screeching—it's Mother's personal ring tone. I had set it that way because it seemed fitting. My eyes open to the warm light of my capybara night light.
I fumble around for my phone and blearily read the name of the caller. I answer immediately.
“Ma?”
“Have you moved out yet?” Comes her hard response.
My heart hurts at how she talks to me. I should be used to it, desensitized, but I can’t help the pang of pain that grips me. Unlike what she wants, I’m not a frigid, unfeelingbitchlike her.
“Not yet.” My voice is raspy with sleep. “Give me a few days to find an apartment.”
“No, I want you to move out today. I told you, I’m treating you like a bank would.”
I rub my crusty eyes. What a fantastic way to wake up. A bank doesn’t call this early in the morning, I want to retort. Also, a bank doesn’t constantly remind me how big of a disappointment I am.
“Ma, I’m gonna move out, okay? I need—”
“I don’t care what you need.” She cuts me off. “You’ve been leeching off me your whole life, Xiaoyu, and you never do better.”
My face hardens as I struggle to hold back tears. I never asked for this—never asked her to buy me a house and to act like a bank, paying her a mortgage she knew I could barely afford. She’s always like this, she needs me to be under her thumb all the time. She isn’t strapped for cash, she just has this obsessive need to control everything I do.
I had just resigned from my teaching job to find other avenues, and I’d asked for leniency until I could find another source of income… I guess it’s my fault for thinking she’d understand.
“Okay, I’ll pack my stuff and I’ll be out by the end of the day.” I reply blankly.
