There’s a heaviness I feel in my belly when she says that. Faster than I’m comfortable with, I connect the dots once more. I’m not confused, I know my purpose here now.
I was never here to heal Datu. I am temporary. I’d been brought here to upset him when I eventually leave.
“When he is in a state of sorrow, it will rain for a long time. The rain will let us flourish once more. Then, we can protect ourselves from the humans. Be rid of Moriarty.”
Instead of asking the more pressing questions, the selfishness in me wins. “Why? Will he be sad when I’m away?” I’m not altruistic at all. I want to help the sprouts, the Terra, but Ineedto know I mean something, too.
Even just to Datu.
“He has been visiting your dreams for years. He picked the Terra form for you. He has built an altar in your name. Yes, he will be devastated.” She says this like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
There’s pressure in my eyes, but I’m too shocked to even begin weeping. I am at a crossroads. One way is a smooth, easy path. Go home, gloat to Mother my achievements with Moriarty, move on. Typically, I would take the easier route. But the difficult terrain on the other side is fraught with dangers and constrictors, but with Datu there to carry me.
“Think of the sprouts.” Teva presses.
Placing my hands over my face, I grind my teeth together. I’m holding back tears now.
“How will my absence help?” It seems obvious, but right now, my questions are just to stall the inevitable.
“It will thaw the amber of the Great Trove—the Seedbedder.”
I know exactly who she means. It’s Brother Bear.
“Okay. I will leave.” My voice is barely a croak.
She rushes up to me, holding my face in her hands tightly. “Swear to me you will.” Her eyes are bright with tears.
“I swear. Cross my heart, hope to die.” I feel dead inside already as I grind it out.
Stepping away, she bows her head. “You must bid him farewell.”
To upset him more. “Do you need me to say something hurtful, too?” It came out scathing and sarcastic, but she surprises me when she nods.
“Best for you to leave on bad terms.”
My jaw drops, “You’re really willing to hurt your brother like this?”
She snarls at me, and her face changes. She doesn’t look beautiful right now. She’s frightening. “Do not judge me for what I need to do. You humans have killed me so many times that it is a miracle why I still exist. I will always put the lives of the sprouts above others. It is my brother that has been led astray.Youhave led him astray.”
Mother Nature. Teva is Mother Nature.
There’s no words to describe the pain I feel right now. No pretty figure of speech to convey my agony. Once again, I pick the others at the expense of my own self.
It hurts so much.
Datu
I feel her as soon as she steps into my forest.
Before raiding the coast, I have decided to arrange the flowers on the altar I made for her. I plan on taking her with me—willingly or not. I know the altar will change her mind. I want it to look immaculate before showing it to her. I want her to accept it. Maybe she will decide to stay and work through the difficult times with me here.
I’ve been guilty of feeling resigned when the rain came, but new hope bloomed in me when I found my hearts had grown two sizes bigger. All of them were embedded in the trees, buried with the roots, hung from branches. She saw them, and I fed them to her. Every time she consumes one, many more grow in their place. I am abundant with hearts, and all of them, I will give to her so she stays.
Eagerly, I await for her on the steps. The starflies seek her, lighting the path toward me, holding a heart in my Terra form.
When she steps out of the shadows, the first thing I notice is her red-rimmed eyes. She has been crying.
Dropping the heart, I rush forward, holding her close to me.
