Xiaoyu
I can’t tell if it’s light or dark out when I finally emerge. I don’t know what it looks like from the outside, but being inside him isn’t as terrible as it sounds. In fact, it’s the complete opposite, although I would need time to recover before going in again.
I’m sore, but it’s a happy kind of sore. I still feel the remnants of the ecstasy Datu gave me. A tremble hiding beneath the surface of my skin. He carries me over to my tub, filling it with water. I’m still coated in that thing that surrounds his guts—probably stomach acid. It smells good, though. I even want to lick it.
“Go ahead. It’s supposed to taste good, too.”He says this with a heady look in his eyes that is just pure male satisfaction.
My eyes flick toward him. “Right.” I say as I lick my arm. He isn’t kidding. It tastes similar to my favorite dessert. Sweet, succulent. “Mmmmm…”
“It is not a drug. It just tastes good.”He reassures me quickly. I notice when he is unsure of himself, he smokes up. Literally.
There’s a moment of silence as I think through his words. “Did you know you were drugging me?”
“Just my pollen.”
“Then I think that’s the only thing that matters. There was nothing we could have done to prevent it.”
His violet eyes become a vivid pink, not the soft baby pink…
“What are you feeling right now?”
“I do not understand it myself. Dreigg—the ice serpent—has softened after his last sacrifice.”
He must be talking about Laura. I keep wondering what happened to her. When we'd met her and the serpent Dreigg on our way back, she'd been tight-lipped about him, the glowing form of a man lingering just within our periphery. The crazed haze I'd been in would have made me protective of her, but there was a content air about her that made me pause enough to reevaluate my actions. Whatever she'd been through, it must have been good.
“I learned that if there is a feeling you cannot shake, whether it be fear or wanting someone you should not, that is love.”
“Fear? How so?”
He chuckles as if embarrassed.“I came here prepared to grovel, beg, apologize, pick another form, even be rejected. That is my fear.”He gathers me in his arms, settling us in my small tub. Water spills over, but we don’t care.“I learned that it is better to reach for what I want than do nothing at all. And right now, it is not relief I feel…it’s something stronger. It is a feeling that I have arrived somewhere I have always been wanted.”
It sounds oddly like destiny, but I know he would never accept this. For that, I know exactly what he means. “Acceptance. That’s what you feel.”
He washes me and soaks himself more in the tub. It seems silly, but I don't shower to get rid of the slickness remaining on my skin. I don't want to. After drying me, Datu brushes my hair that touches the middle of my back. His chest keeps making this low-pitched growling sound as if he is hungry or moaning in satisfaction. I can't tell.
Turning around, I cock my head at him. No words, just a look.
Cupping my chin, he sweeps his thumb over my lips as if imagining smearing something. The sounds from him becomes a thousand wailing voices. It should be terrible, but I know it's his way of talking to me. He mouths along with the monstrous snarl inside him:
My face becomes extremely hot as my eyes water once more. Heart beating a strong, erratic rhythm, I lean in to kiss him. There's nothing carnal about this one. I've become accustomed to leave out my emotions to protect myself that giving in feels…pivotal. Freeing. Emotions, they aren't punished anymore. Starting today, they are rewarded.
"You came at a time when I'd given up on love."
Datu places one hand over my heart."You could not find it because that love was meant for me."His self-assurance used to bother me, but now, it's endearing, knowing he says it to make melaugh. Whether he believes this or not, I do not care. His words ring with truth.
I cackle, palming his face and shoving him playfully. "Arrogant bastard. You know what? Yeah, I guess that's true."
As the rain slams down my roof, the silence becomes peaceful. It's not a shield anymore. My mind drifts back to Esoterra. When I'd left it had began pouring rain. “I've been wondering—is it still raining there?” I don’t have to say it out loud. He knows my question.
He stops rushing my hair, hands settling against my back. “Enough to invigorate Esoterra.”
My hand squeezes his thigh before I lean against his naked chest. “Tell me what happened after I left.”
“Raging storms and change. I think it was what we always needed. What I needed, too.”
I feel this in my soul. The standstill is a slow death. “What changed?”
“Do you remember the Providers coming back to life?”
