Finally.
Maybe I’ll hold my own celebration.
A congrats to me for finally getting out from under crippling debt.
Clara pats me on the shoulder. “How are you feeling?”
“Now that I don’t want to throw up every second, I feel awesome,” I say. “I know it won’t last as I get further along, but I’m taking advantage of the extra energy while I have it.”
“Smart girl.” Her eyes flick to my left and back up. “And the baby’s father? Is he treating you right?”
I think of all Leo and I have shared over the last few weeks.
I think of the man he’s shown me he is.
“Leo’s great,” I say. “We’re…well, it wasn’t exactly planned, but we’re figuring things out.”
“How far along are you officially?” she asks.
“Twenty weeks. We actually go for our ultrasound tomorrow.”
“Are you going to find out the gender?”
“Yes, neither Leo nor I have it in us for more surprises.”
She grins. “I couldn’t wait either.”
I think of Leo’s and my ongoing “argument” about whether the baby is going to be a boy or girl—me saying girl, him saying boy, with neither of us actually caring about the result—and smile.
It’s fun to be building the inside jokes, the references that only we understand.
To be building us.
With no walls between us, the past not completely eviscerated, but talked about instead of hidden, its power taken away.
We chat a few minutes more, and I finish the dishes and pack up my things.
Just before I get in my car, she passes me an envelope.
“Clara,” I protest.
“It’s nothing crazy,” she says, pressing it back into my hands. “Use it to buy something cute for the baby’s nursery or a ridiculously adorable outfit.”
My eyes well up.
She hugs me then pulls back and cups my face. “I can’t wait to see all the great things you do, sweetheart.”
Then she kisses my cheek and walks back into the house.
Probably for the best.
If she stayed, I’d be bursting into tears for sure.
I climb into my car, take a couple of shaky breaths, then turn on the engine and drive home.
Sighing, I set aside the knotted, lumpy mess that is the baby’s blanket and pick up my phone.
This is a lot more fun.
