Page 135 of Knocked Up By Number Ninety

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“A meal you won’t even eat because it’s seasoned with more than just salt and pepper!” she wails.

“That’s not true. I like food that has seasonings.”

“Oh yeah?” She glares at him. “Name one.”

He scowls and changes the subject to the cost of their plane tickets, sending Jennifer spiraling again with exclamations about her not being good enough for nice things all while she has another heavy breathing spell.

As she blathers, Bill jabs at his chicken then gags when he takes another bite—seriously, who’s being dramatic now?

But all of that is background noise.

Because it’s Leo I’m worried about.

I don’t want him driving through rush hour with this shit show on surround sound.

So, as it starts closing in on the time I have to leave, I surreptitiously call in reinforcements.

And as I’m doing the dishes—and for the record, the only things Bill ate were those seasoned with just salt and pepper—backup arrives.

The doorbell goes.

Smitty’s voice booms through the hall and I breathe a little easier.

He greets Leo, moves over to me. “How bad?” he murmurs into my ear as he hugs me hello.

“Leo or his parents?”

“Either.” A beat. “Both.”

“Bad,” I say. “All of them.”

Smitty slants a glance behind him, and I know by the way he straightens his shoulders and exhales, that he’s seeing the same thing I am.

Leo’s not doing well.

And his parents are still fighting.

“Sawyer’s coming too,” he mutters. “We’ll handle this.”

“Smitty?” I ask when he starts to walk away.

“Be gentle with him, okay?” I murmur. “I don’t think he’s…” I shake my head. “Just…please be gentle with him.”

Smitty’s brown eyes lock onto mine. “I liked you before, Harp-tastic.” He tugs a lock of my hair. “But now I think I love you.”

My mouth falls open.

He kisses me on the cheek.

“Don’t worry. We’ve got him.”

Then he’s spinning away.

“All right, mofos!” He claps his hands together, drawing everyone’s focus. “Sawyer’s got his new Mom Mobile parked in the driveway. It’s time to hit the road!”

Forty

Leo