“F-fine,” I say. “Are you going to do an ultrasound?”
I need to see my little potato’s fluttering heartbeat, need to know I didn’t?—
“They’re bringing the machine in,” the doctor says gently, probing at my forehead and rattling off some doctorly requests to the nurse, who nods, pats me on the shoulder, then starts gathering supplies, setting them on a paper-covered metal table the doctor pulls to the bedside. “We’ll get you patched up here and an obstetrician will come down for a consult,” she says. “Everything will be okay, I promise.”
Except if it’s not.
“Is there anyone we can call for you?” the nurse asks, her eyes kind. “Anyone who may be able to come and stay with you while you wait?”
I bite at my bottom lip. “My boy…” I hesitate. My baby daddy? The love of my fucking life who didn’t reply to my texts because I said something awful and now I’m not sure how to fix it?
“What’s his name?” the nurse asks.
“Leo,” I say. “Leo Richardson.”
“I see his number in your chart,” she says, tapping at the keyboard of the computer in the corner. “I’ll give him a call.”
“I—”
But she’s walking out of the room before I can finish, and…I guess I don’t really want to stop her anyway.
I want Leo to be here, to hold my hand, to tell me our little potato will be okay.
The doctor pulls on a fresh pair of gloves, picks up a syringe. “This will sting a little.”
I nod then wince, because, damn, that does hurt.
But it’s only for a second, and when she probes the spot a little while later, I already can’t feel anything. Then she’s stitching me up.
I close my eyes, not wanting to watch the needle as she brings it down to my skin.
Unfortunately, that gives me time to think, to remember?—
“Are you okay?” the doctor asks, and I realize a tear has slipped free. “Can you feel this?”
“No,” I exhale, peel open my eyes to see her looking at me with concern. “I’m fine. I’m…just scared.” I admit.
“Scared about the baby?”
I nod as I dash the tear away. She pats my shoulder, does one more thing on my forehead before covering everything with a bandage. Then she peels off her gloves. “Give me a second.”
A moment later, she’s walking out of the room.
And to her credit, she’s back quickly, rolling in an ultrasound machine.
I clench my hands into fists and she pauses. “We can wait for the obstetrician to come down.”
“No,” I say. “Could you…could you make sure everything is okay?”
She nods and smiles softly, rolling the machine over and putting on a fresh pair of gloves. Then she has the wand in hand, is asking me to pull up my shirt.
“This will be cold.”
I nod and she squirts the gel on my belly.
I close my eyes as she presses the wand to my stomach and moves it around, and then…
I hear the best noise of my life.
