1
“Seriously, bro, you’re so cringe,” Aurora groans as I snap a selfie of us.
“Excuse me, it’s Mum. Please respect the title.” I push the shorter strands of her hair that refuse to stay in their ponytail behind her ear.
“Mother. Please do not primp me.” My daughter, at twelve years old, has mastered a level of sass and confidence I didn’t learn until I was well into my twenties.
“Sorry. I’m nervous.”
“You’re nervous?” she sputters. “It’s my first day of high school, and I literally know no one.”
“Yeah, but you’re so much braver than I am. Cooler, too. You’ll be good.”
She arches an eyebrow at me. The same deep brown eyes as mine assess me from head to toe. The black Doc Martens on my feet, ripped black jeans, a denim jacket tied around my waist, the sleeve of constellations inked on one arm. Okay, maybe I don’t look like your average thirty-year-old mum at school drop off. I had to grow up young. I had to give up everything, but there were some things I wanted to keep, like my awesome fashion sense. There were things I had to do in life, with no clue how to fucking do them, survive them. But I’ll be damned if I don’t at least look like I’m hot enough to have my shit together while figuring them out.
“Mum, you’re like the definition of cool. Most kids think you’re my sister.” Aurora huffs out a breath as she hitches her backpack higher on her shoulder, looking around as kids move past us into the prestigious school.
That plunging gut feeling that I’m not doing enough anchors me as I lift my head. Dads in suits wave to their kids as they jump out of their perfectly shiny cars. A gaggle of meticulously put-together mums stand on the footpath, waving to their kids while simultaneously talking out the side of their mouths, silently judging everyone who passes. I tug on the hem of my cropped white tee, hiding another tattoo that sits under my breasts, stretching down my stomach. Not that I haven’t already given them enough to judge from the parts of me they can easily see.
I’m proud of what I’ve made for myself and my daughter. Not every day has been easy—some have been downright petrifying. On occasion, I makehot messlook like a work of art. But every day, I give it my all. I do anything and everything in my power to make sure nothing from my former life touches Aurora. I won’t let her grow up like I did. Considering she got into this fancy school based on a scholarship that had absolutely nothing to do with my help, but her natural ability to be a genius and all-around amazing young woman, I like to think I’m doing okay on that front. Giving her the safety and stability I never had.
I’ve never been one of those mums who host sleepovers or mingle with the other parents. From day one, it’s been Aurora and me, and I’ve been content with that. It’s safer. But as I watch my daughter take in yet another new school in her short life, I wonder if this is one of those times I fucked up. It’s in the way her eyes blink and shift rapidly over every new person. The way she bites down on her lower lip, and her hand tightens around the strap of her bag. I’ve never let her settle; my own fears kept us moving. Staying here, setting up in Heart City, it’s a new concept for both of us.
I grab onto her arm, squeezing gently. “Hey, you’re gonna be fine. The good news is everyone you meet today is having their first day.”
“Yeah, but they probably know some people if they went to the same primary school.”
“Betcha they’re still nervous.” I lighten my tone, trying to inject it with encouragement.
My phone pings in my back pocket. I pull it out, seeing a text from my boss and new friend, Claire.
CLAIRE:
Tell Aurora I said knock em dead! Also, bring me a lamington when you stop at Sweet Escape, thank uuuuuukiss-face-emoji
ME:
You got it. I’ll be there soon
I tuck my phone away and hug Aurora to my chest. “Claire said knock ’em dead.”
Aurora’s arms circle my waist, and she takes a deep breath, inhaling my perfume. The one she picked out for me at eight years old because it smelt like chocolate. I drop a kiss on top of her head.
“You sure you’re okay to catch the bus to Parlour Tricks after school? I’ll be done by four.”
She squeezes me tighter. “Yep. All good.”
“And your phone’s fully charged?”
“Yep.” She nods. “I’ll message you when I’m on the bus.”
I tuck the wayward strands behind her ear yet again. “Okay. I’ll see you later.”
Aurora nods and starts to back away. “Love you.”
“Love you,Superstar.”
She turns quickly and races up the steps, out of sight. My hand finds the bangles at my wrist, spinning them as I muster up my own courage to move. I count to three before I make myself walk back to my beat-up, army green Jeep parked along the sidewalk.
