Aurora has a fractured elbow and was fitted for a sling that she needs to wear for two weeks.
He messaged me again later that night when we got home, asking if he could come over to see us. Then once more when I got into bed. But, all I could focus on was Aurora.
Her whole life, all I had to do was keep her safe, and the second I failed was when I gave my heart someone else. But before that, it all felt so good. So perfect.
I look down at the text thread between us that’s remained mostly quiet on my end. Nothing but emoji reactions and one word answers.
ME:
Can you just give me some time to think?
THIEF:
You can have all the time you need to think. Just don’t forget I’m right next door and I’m ready whenever you want to let me in.
That was two days ago. I’ve barely eaten or slept since. My thoughts stuck on an endless loop of remembering every moment I’ve spent running, keeping Aurora and I skipping along the outskirts of life, and how everything’s changed since Westley came into it.
For the first time, I got to experience what life could be like with a partner, someone who shares not only the worry and doubt of what choices we make for our kids, constantly questioning if we’re doing it right, but also the joy. Westley somehow managed to ease himself in, turning our duo into a family, and now I can’t remember what it was like without him.
I’ve done nothing but think since I asked him to give me time, but now I’m ready to talk. I’m ready to lay myself bare, and give him the last piece of myself. I need to tell West everything about my past, so he can decide if he wants to be our future.
ME:
Can you meet me here?
I send him a pin of my location, along with the question.
I’ve been sitting out in this field for an hour already. Aurora’s staying at Ever’s house; auditions for the school play start tomorrow so they’re helping each other run lines. She’s so excited. My daughter is also extremely observant. She went to see West the morning after her accident. She didn’t understand why I wasn’t talking to him. It’s not that I was avoiding him, I just didn’t know how to process my fears when it came to Aurora, especially knowing I was still keeping my biggest secret not only from him, but from her too. I need to come clean to them both. My phone pings where it rests in my lap.
THIEF:
I’m on my way.
I inhale deep through my nose, trying to bury the nausea. Closing my eyes, I drop my head back, as I keep breathing in and out, the sounds of crickets chirping and wind rustling through trees as my only companion.
While I wait for West, I flick back to my stargazing app and keep navigating the sky. It helps to calm my nerves, giving my mind something else to focus on.
At least thirty minutes have passed by the time headlights roll over where I’m sitting on the picnic blanket I laid out.
I turn, chewing my lip to stop it from trembling as I watch West step out of his ute, watching me with a tentative gaze.
With his hands in his pockets, he makes his way over to me, looking up at the sky full of stars, while I just look at him.
“Nice spot you found here,” he says, stopping at the edge of my blanket.
I shuffle over, making room for him. “Join me?”
West drops down to the blanket, both of us chuckling as his knees crack on the way down. Already, the blood in my veins feels as though it flows easier through every limb. My chest relaxes, and my brain doesn’t feel like it’s constantly humming with unease. As hard as the choices in my life have been, and the fight for safety, it’s been harder without Westley. I knew that five minutes after he left the hospital. It’s been three days in a torture of my own making, but I had to be sure. When I tell him everything, there’s no going back.
“I’m sorry I took it out on you. The way I reacted.” I shake my head, as I draw in a deep breath. “I’ve never had a partner in this parenting thing. Since day one, I’ve been figuring it out as each day came,” I say, pulling at a loose thread on the edge of the blanket. “I was lucky to meet Presley along the way. She provided emotional support, and she understood what it was like to run from her past, but it’s different to having someone who’s a second parent.”
It feels as though my heart is rattling in my chest. I twist around so I can face West and he mimics me, our knees touching as we sit cross-legged, hands dangling at the ankles, both aching to reach out, but I don’t think he’ll make the first move. He’s letting me lead.
“If it weren’t for Royal though, we may not have made it as far as we did.”
“Who’s Royal?” he asks, our fingers inching towards each other.
If Westley’s going to stay in my life, I need to tear down the barriers between us. I avoided ever letting anyone in before because when you’re a scared seventeen year old, with the fate of a baby in your hands and a cop telling you to stay hidden—you listen. You hide.
