“I’ve never shared a bed with a man,” I say in a low voice.
His eyes go wide. “How is that… possible?”
“I-I told you, I’ve never had a boyfriend.”
“Not even with Aurora’s dad?” The second he finishes the question, his eyes bug out of his head. “Fuck! Sorry, don’t answerthat. That’s none of my business.” He huffs then turns away, fetching his bag from the end of the bed and placing it beside mine.
“We should probably start getting ready.” West looks at his watch. “The ceremony starts in two hours. That’s enough time for you, right?”
“In case you forgot”—I smile as I fetch my makeup bag from my luggage—“I do makeup for a living. I’m pretty quick at putting myself together at this point.”
He does that little side smile of his, the left corner of his mouth hooking up where it hides in his beard. I really like that smile.
“How could I forget? I’m gonna grab our clothes from the car while you get started. Do you want me to see if I can get us some drinks while we get ready?” Our wedding clothes were hung up in the back seat so they didn’t get crinkled during the drive. I spotted the beige linen jacket of Westley’s suit, and a few times during the drive, my mind strayed to imagining what he’d look like all dressed up.
I shake my head. “I’m okay. I won’t put my dress on until right before we go, so I can wait if you want to get one for yourself.”
“Okay. I’ll be back.”
I watch him leave, then take a final look at that damn bed before I mentally slap myself for overthinking it and march over to the bathroom to get ready.
Thirty-five minutes later, I’m doing the final turn of my curling iron when the door to our room opens.
“Sorry!” Westley calls out. I step out of the bathroom, watching as he gently lays our clothes down on the bed. “I ran into Phil and his wife, Rachel. Had to give him the cannoli I promised. I can’t wait for you to meet Rachel. I think you’ll really like—” He freezes the second he looks up at me. “Wow. You look beautiful.”
In all my life, I’ve never had someone look at me the way he does. It’s intense with curiosity and dedication. So brutallyhonest, and I wonder if it’s all wasted on me. There’s so much he, and everyone else, doesn’t know about me, and I don’t know if I have the strength to share it. I don’t know if I’m brave enough to risk the way things might change if I do. At least this is all for pretend, so it doesn’t really matter. But I like the way he’s been slipping through the cracks. I like the way my eyes seek out his company, my mind waits for his words, and my heart stockpiles all the little moments he makes it beat faster.
“Thanks.” I step towards him and reach down to pick up my dress. He tries to beat me to it, making our fingers brush, and it’s like lightning strikes up my arm, through my chest, and all the way down to my toes.
“I’ll get changed in the bathroom,” he says, eyes still darting around my face and taking me in.
I nod and step around him, kickstarting us both into action. Once the bathroom door closes behind him, and I hear the shower turn on, I unbutton my sleeveless blouse, kick off my thongs, and toss aside my denim shorts. I can’t wear a bra with this dress, so that goes too, before I step into the slinky green fabric. I reach around for the zip, contorting my arms to get it up the length of my back, only making it halfway.
“Oh, come on,” I grunt, switching my arms to reach from over my shoulder, but I still can’t get it.
I look to the closed bathroom door, chewing my lip as I realise I might need help with this. I fasten the tie that sits between my breasts, then reach for the perfume in my bag, and give myself a final spritz.
I send a selfie to Aurora and check in with how she’s doing. She sends me a photo back of her and Callie walking along the beach with Patch.
AURORA:
We want a photo of both of you, too!
ME:
Why? We’re not a real couple…
AURORA:
But, you’re friends right? Bet you guys look super cuteheart-eyes-emoji
I shake my head, amused by my daughter, when all at once, intrusive, panicked thoughts set in. We are friends, I think. It was always the plan to settle in Heart City, but our life before now was all about laying low. A few months in, and already, we’ve got brunch dates, sleepovers, and fake boyfriends. We’re letting people in. We’re getting complacent, and that’s when things go wrong.
I pull up a different text thread.
ME:
Still nothing?
