I palm my chest as I make my way over to the makeshift bar, leaning an arm against the counter as I wait to be served.
“Having a good night?”
My eyes close for a beat before I slowly turn to see Phoebe standing beside me.
“Hey.” I give her a casual smile. “Yeah, it’s been fun. And you?”
She clasps her hands in front of her, rustling the skirt of her pale pink dress. “It’s been great catching up with everyone.”
I nod, drumming my fingers over the bar.
“I was hoping to catch you tonight,” she says.Oh no. No. No.Please don’t be what I think it is. “Could we talk?”
I huff out a laugh, anxiously searching the crowd for Maevyn. “We are talking.”
“Somewhere a little more private?”
I pinch the bridge of my nose. “Phoebe, I think we’re past the point of needing to talk in private. We’ve moved on.”
“Please.” I look past her, still looking for Maevyn, but I can’t see her. There’s a small rose garden a short distance from the festivities, but still in plain sight. That seems like the safest place.
With a resigned sigh, I point to a rickety wooden bench along the roses that faces a little pond with tealights floating on the surface.
My head keeps turning in the direction of the bathrooms, hoping to spot Maevyn as she comes out so she can save me.
Phoebe takes a seat on one end of the bench, and I make a point of sitting on the other side, as far away as I can get without being rude.
“I just wanted you to hear it from me, since we still have a lot of mutual friends… I’m starting the process of donor insemination.” My gaze flicks between her face and stomach, and she chuckles. “I’m not pregnant now. But I want to be a mum, and I haven’t met anyone else I’ve wanted that with.”
I don’t miss the way her voice hitches onanyone else.
I run a palm down my face, then clamp my hands together, letting them dangle between my thighs before I look at her again. “I’m really happy you’re going after what you want.”
The smile she gives me is small. “Yeah.”
Phoebe leans back against the bench, looking up at the stars, the ones that are so much brighter and fuller now that we’re out of the city. Millions of them are flickering away, and I bet Maevyn is kicking herself for not having a telescope on hand.
“Did I make a mistake?” The whispered plea shatters the peace, tightening in my chest. “Joey’s sitting at your table. She was telling me all about Maevyn. She seems lovely. And… she has a daughter?”
I nod. “Yep, Aurora. She’s twelve.”
“I don’t understand how that’s different from what I was asking for, West.” There’s a wobble in her voice, and I know tears will follow. I hate being the source of someone’s pain, of their disappointment.
I rest my elbows on my knees, my face in my hands as I try to find the words. “We weren’t right for each other, Phoebe. It wasn’t just about kids, and you know that. So much about blending our lives wasn’t fitting.”
“I can change,” she begs softly, and I shake my head.
“No. Don’t change for someone else.”
“You did!”
I turn to her, finding she’s moved closer along the bench, erasing the distance. Her eyes glisten with tears, threatening to spill over.
“No, I didn’t.”
“You didn’t want kids.”
“I never said I didn’t want them. I wanted to adopt or fosterifI was going to have them.”
